Thrift Store Finds: Andy the Handy Anal Retentive Man

Hello Dear Readers! I had a little extra time on my hands the other day, and I just happened to be driving by the thrift store, so I dashed in for a second and came away the proud new owner of:

Handy Andy Magazine from 1980!

Now before you go thinking that Handy Andy is one of those guys who pretends to be a Handy Man as a way of getting inside your house, scoping out the place and coming back at a more convenient time to steal all your possessions and  murder you, you would be wrong.

After carefully perusing this  Pocket-Size Do It Yourself Guide for Everyone for blood stains and having found none, I have come to the conclusion that Andy isn’t a murderer at all but simply a misunderstood Anal Retentive handy man who can get a little peevish if somebody messes with his tools.

Let’s take a look inside shall we?

Here are some 1980 anal retentive tips sent in by some 1980 Handy Andy Magazine’s anal retentive readers:

Andrew Vena Has an Anal Retentive Suggestion to save you money!

Andrew Vena suggests reusing sanding disks by cleaning them off!  It easy! You just:  1) scrape off the ridges with a knife 2) apply varnish remover 3)wait for paint to soften 4) hold the sanding disk under running water 5) remove goo with a wire brush and viola! the sanding disk will be as good as new saving you, the handyman or woman, the cost of a new sanding disk! And the best part?  Every time you reuse that sanding disk, you’ll be pocketing a cool 35 cents instead of forking it over to The Man!

Mrs. Jane Johnson Writes Poignantly about Shelf Protectors!

Who else but Mrs. Jane Johnson of Minnetonka could have thought of this ingenious  idea!  And that is to put the plastic lids of cans that came with plastic lids on the bottom of other cans that didn’t come with plastic lids so that the cans that didn’t come with plastic lids can go under the cans with . . or maybe over the cans that, uh  . . .   oh who cares, she’s probably dead anyway!

Here’s a dandy Handy Andy Anal Retentive Tip from Wilfred Beaver of Sparta Wis.!

Apparently Wilfred Beaver’s shower is on the fritz again because he has to wash his hair in a lavatory and his dog’s hair in the bathtub and vice versa.  And apparently Wilfred Beaver’s hair follicles are bailing out in record numbers every time he washes his hair in the lavatory and/or bathtub which has caused Wilfred Beaver to feel the need to dam his lavatory drain with “a wad of steel wood.”  Oh sure it sounds gross, but it’s the kind of activity that keeps Wilfred Beaver busy. And Mrs. Wilfred Beaver isn’t complaining — so why should we?

Well, Dear Readers, that’s all the anal retentive Handy Andy tips we have time for today, but check back in  tomorrow when we will be having fun explaining some of the mysterious illustrations (dont’ worry they’re not bloodstains, I’m pretty sure)  included our 1980 Handy Andy Magazine!

Until next time . . . I love you