Fish it from the Archives Friday: I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head

Hello Dear Readers and welcome to Friday!  I had a dream last night about the invention of shark bait that resembled little businessmen with feathers for hair.

Businessman Shark Bait that Peanuts Dreamed

I think that my brain, Peanuts, was trying to tell me that it’s time for Fish It from the Archives Friday!

And so I stuck my little businessman bait on a hook and lowered him into the old post bucket and wouldn’t you know he came came up with a post inspired by another line Peanuts dreamed which was:

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head”

“I was a cow in Chuck’s head,” is the line my brain, Peanuts, delivered to me this morning just as I was waking up.  Of course, there was no story attached to it.

It was simply a tagline drifting around the tar and driftwood that masquerades as my subconscious mind.

I stayed in bed with my eyes shut pretending to be asleep for the longest time so that Peanuts would dictate the rest of the story to me, but I think Peanuts needs to take a writing class or something because there was nothing more forthcoming.

So it looks like once again, Dear Reader, my brain, Peanuts, has left me holding the bag when it comes to thinking up some sort of scenarios for this title so here goes:

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.”   The Modern Romance

Betty Matilda McFlirp stuck her head out of the plastic enclosure of the bus stop in the pouring rain and looked up the street with her beautiful, brown, bovine-ian eyes imploring the bus to come quickly with every fiber of her being.

For if it didn’t come soon, her white hair was going to frizz up something awful causing her to look more sheep-like than cow-like — which was bound to change her relationship with Chuck profoundly. Because Betty Matilda McFlirp was a cow in Chuck’s head.

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.” The Science Fiction Story

Chuck, a Chucktilian from the planet Chucky — located three-hundred light years to the left of  the Charles Constellation, just happened to land his  alien craft at the bus stop at which it just so happened Betty Matilda McFlirp was sticking her head out of at the time.

Their eyes met and it was love at first, second and third sight, what with Chuck having the three eyes and all.  Chuck’s mission was clear, he had to take Betty Matilda McFlirp back to planet Chucktilian or his passion for her would drive him mad.

A plan was quickly formed in which Chuck would first turn Betty into a cow and then convert her atoms into a thought form and store her in his head for the return trip.

And that’s how Betty Matilda McFlirp became a cow in Chuck’s head.

“I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.” The Pre-twentieth Century British Romance

Sir Chuck, the Earl of Salisburychuckroast, petitioned his father, the Duke of Noteggsandhamagain if he might marry his childhood sweetheart, Bessie and pointed into the pasture where Bessie, the cow, was busy chewing and digesting her cud in that adorable way she had.

As luck would have it, Lady Betty Matilda McFlirp just happened to be sticking her head out from beneath the thatched roof of the carriage stop by which Bessie was standing.

Thinking that Sir Chuck was pointing to Lady Betty, the Duke of Noteggsandhamagain was overjoyed that his son wanted to marry a girl instead of a cow (which is what all his previous girlfriends had been) and gave his permission for them to marry immediately.

Years later, Lady Betty Matilda Mcflirp would go on to pen her memoirs entitled: I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head.

And there you have it Dear Readers.  Frankly, I think I have managed to come up with some plausible stories for Peanuts crazy babbling — at least this time anyway!

Until next time . . . I love you

8 thoughts on “Fish it from the Archives Friday: I Was a Cow in Chuck’s Head

  1. Linda, it may be time to ease up on all the “vitamins” you’re taking. Only kidding! But seriously, what are you taking? hahaha!

    This was another bit of creative genius. Just the names alone are worthy of an award!

    • Ah thanks Lisa! I love hearing that! 😀 I actually did take some vitamins yesterday. I only remember to take them about once every three weeks or thereabouts. I don’t think they are going to do much good at that rate, but they at least they’ll last longer. 😀

  2. I am speechless….. 🙂 Good one, I think…. I can’t really get a handle on it, probably because I’m a catcher by trade, and this one is all the way out in deep left field…. Unique… that’s the word I wanted…. unique…. 🙂 It must have been fun, and quite a relief, getting that all out of your head….

  3. What a clever thing to do when your brain doesn’t feed you anything plausable to write: write something so far out that we readers believe that you are hilariously funny, with a humor far above our humble brains to understand. Keep on laughing !!!

    • LOL Ronnie! Yeah that’s the ticket. I think you and my brain Peanuts are definitely on the same page. Even if it’s a page that has been torn out and is blowing around in a strong wind somewhere! HA! 😀

  4. Ha ha Mark! Oh I wish! What a dream job. I remember years ago seeing a headline that said Woman Gives Birth to 14 year year old boy! Wait a minute . . . that might have been Mad Magazine. Well, either way I found it quite memorable. Oh what fun it would be to have a job where that’s all you were supposed to do all day long. I think I could get used to that! 😀

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