Friday Fictioneers: Howard’s New Job

Welcome Dear Readers!  It’s time for recess!  Friday Fictioneer Recess!  This week’s photo prompt is brought to us by Claire Fuller’s camera.  Novelist  Claire Fuller.

Friday Fictioneers is a little writing event that happens every week starting on Wednesday, when Rochelle Wisoff- Fields at Addicted to Purple picks a picture, posts it,  and we all write a 100-word story inspired by the picture. And then link up with other Friday Fictioneers over at Rochelle’s blog.

Copyright Claire Fuller

Howard’s New Job

Knock! Knock!


One pepperoni pizza! That’ll be $148.53.

What?  For pizza?

We charge extra to deliver here.


Delivery guys never come back.

I’ll get my money.  Follow me to the dunge—uh, basement.


Sit down in that chair.

In that electric chair?

Don’t worry.  It’s not plugged in.

I’ll stand.

At least take a weight off and lean up against that rack.

Why does it have straps?

I’m a dentist.

I gotta go!

I’ll extract your wisdom teeth for free!

You’re crazy!

Wait! I’ll split my pizza with you 50/50?





Well . . . okay.

* * * 

Until next time  . . . I love you

56 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: Howard’s New Job

  1. hahaha omg, and i thought Howard was a smart guy. ugh >< but then right now, i'd give anything to break this diet and eat a whole pizza, or even 70% ^^ hilarious

  2. Whenever they deliver a pizza and the cheese has slid all over the place, i think about not letting the guy return too.

    I mean…I think of givng him free dental work.

    I mean…


    • Isn’t there though?I am reminded of that every time I get my teeth cleaned. Well she’s not actually medieval, but she is middle aged. (Though she never serves me pizza . . .sigh)

  3. What crazy character you are Linda, I loved this one, the fact that the pizza costs so much because the delivery guys never come back. I love the absurdity of the whole piece.

  4. Dear LindaVH,

    Is that ‘an’ electric chair? (I think you need an ‘an’ between that and electric in the sentence as you have written it.)

    Love your story and the spare dialog. Especially love the line, ‘We charge extra to deliver here.’



    • Thank you Doug for the heads up! Gah! I so hate when I skip words like that. I’ve noticed I do that a lot. Glad you liked it though! Thanks for coming by! 😀

  5. I wondered how you would twist such a dark image into something humorous! Definitely staying away from that place…can only imagine what he does to door to door salesmen

  6. Hum, he must have been a twenty something if 70% of the pizza convinced him to stay. Although I must admit, 70% of a pizza and a six pack would probably still get me!

  7. hehe this piece was fantastic! I just noticed that it was posted last year, hehe. Anyway, I’m really glad I found your site, Linda. There’s a lot of amusing stuff on it. And thanks for checking out Back Hair Advocate.

    • Thanks for coming by Ian and taking the time to look around a bit. I forgot all about this one. I”ve been cranking them out for a little over three years, for better or for worse. I’ve taken a lot of the series stuff I’ve written off line in the hope that someday I’ll overcome my laziness and put them together in e-book form.

    • Oh that’s nice to hear Ian! Just read your submission guidelines. And they do make you sound smart. I’ll see if I can come up with something your astute cats will like. 😀

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