9 Thoughts for Cockeyed Optimists

Welcome Dear Readers! At Linda Vernon Humor, we like to keep a positive attitude.  To that end, our Wordsmiths have been smithing their little hearts since the crack of 9 a.m.  and have managed to come up with a few nuggets of wisdom:

It is said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  So at least the roads are paved!


Don’t worry about not having a bird in the hand; holding a bird feels slightly gross.


If at first you don’t succeed?  Lower your standards!


The upside of being lactose intolerant is that you never cry over spilt milk.


Don’t worry about not being able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps; people who do are short and have ugly shoes.


It doesn’t matter if life hands you lemons as long as life doesn’t follow it up with a bill.


Practice cooking flan because everybody knows time flies when you’re honing flan.


It’s best not to be a fair weather friend; you might have to help with yard work.


Money isn’t everything . . . wait a minute . . . . yes it is.


Until next time . . . I love you

3 thoughts on “9 Thoughts for Cockeyed Optimists

  1. Great nuggets of wisdom mom!

    A few of my own that aren’t necessarily positive but still useless:

    A penny saved means you will never be able to retire since pennies aren’t worth much.

    Time flies when you’re in a time machine. Otherwise one minute equals 60 seconds.

    All you need is love.. And this paddle game. – The ashtray and the paddle game and that’s all you need… And this remote control. – The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that’s all you need… And these matches. – The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball… And this lamp. – The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that’s all you need.

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