Welcome Dear Readers! I’m going out on a computer shopping excursion today wherein I will be replacing my trusty kaput computer, Lenny Xavier. (If he somehow manages to get logged in to your e-mail or something, just tell him I’m out buying socks.)
Until then let’s take a look back at another wackadoodle adventure of 1956 Mom:
In this 1956 government issued Bulletin No. 10, the government suggests 1956 Mom go about killing the lonely hours of her day by freezing some strawberries!
- Isn’t it adorable?
To that end, the government has transformed the simple task of placing some strawberries in the freezer into a complicated, time-consuming ordeal that is guaranteed to take 1956 Mom all day long!
Step One
First, 1956 Mom needs to wash the strawberries, then gently lift them out of the water where they will be ready for contemplation (as pictured).
To kill as many lonely hours as possible, the government is suggesting 1956 Mom contemplate the berries for two hours minimum — the same length of time she was instructed to contemplate her navel in the previously issued government Bulletin No. 9 entitled 1956 Moms and Their Navels.
Step Two:
1956 Mom now needs to remove the hulls from the berries which is easier said than done. 1956 Mom knows that she doesn’t exactly know what a strawberry hull is — which means a trip to the local library where she can study the anatomy of a strawberry and sketch it into her Things I Once Froze diary for future strawberry freezing reference.
Step Three
1956 Mom is happy to finally get to the high point of her day, the sprinkling of the sugar! Oh what fun she will have! But the fun doesn’t end there. She also gets to turn the strawberries over and over in the sugar for as long as her little arms will allow –giving nary a care to carpal tunnel syndrome — which, in 1956, hadn’t even been invented yet!
Step Four:
The next step is to pack the berries into a container. This step is self-explanatory. To find out more about things that are self-explanatory, 1956 Mom will have refer to previously issued government Bulletin No. 7 entitled The Government Explains Things That Are Self-Explanatory.
Step Five
Next 1956 Mom is going to need to press the lid on the container firmly making sure it’s on watertight — which means 1956 Mom will have to go to the garage, locate Father’s fishing gear, then find the nearest body of water in which to throw the container. Then quickly fish it out, open the lid and check carefully for wet strawberries. Phew! What 1956 Mom won’t do to kill the lonely hours of her day!
Step Six
Finally, 1956 Mom has made it to the very last step of her herculean strawberry freezing project. It was touch and go there for a couple of hours! But thanks to 1956 Mom’s perseverance, the only thing left to do now is label the containers with the name of the fruit (that’s easy . . . strawberries!) and the date she froze them. For this, 1956 Mom will carefully pen 1 9 5 6. Because if there’s one thing 1956 Mom knows, it’s her name!
Of course 1956 Mom might want to take a calligraphy class first to kill a few more hours of her lonely day — but that’s another government issued bulletin for another government issued day!
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Crikey not like my mum – she couldn’t cook to save her life. I grew up thinking broccoli was ‘white.’ It was only years down the line I realized she had boiled the colour out of it! Also, no reflection I’d hate to be a ‘Doodle’ as they do seem to get ‘whacked’ about a bit. I imagine they are extinct now?
HA! Yes the last wackadoodle was spotted in your Mom’s kitchen. I’m told they resembled white broccoli! Your mom sounds like a real character! It’s a wonder you ever grew so tall growing up on white broccoli! 😀
I think I might want to hurt 1956 Government!
If only someone would have thought to freeze them. We could thaw them out and slap their collective face!
If only!!!!
Well we can make up for lost time We can still start a freeze the government program! With your organizational skills, we could probably get everyone frozen solid in the next couple of weeks.
That’s the best idea I’ve heard in a long time. I’m going out to get a freezer…a big deep freeze!
Get one that will fit a lot of people into it!
Maybe even two
Two’s good too!
done! anyone you want to round up from your country? 😉
Oh it’s a hard decision . . how about you?
I can think of a couple off the top of my head 😉
~Fiddles with the plastic bag trying to stuff the last strawberry in~ come on you red pain in the (&$(*! okay! there! now.. How do I write stuff on it again? :S
Hahah! Well now you can’t write anything until you take a government approved calligraphy class. Unless you want to read Bulletin #6: You and Your Freezer Labels . . but it’s even more boring than the class.
*Pulls in a giant acme industries rubber stamper* Alright, Who wants calligraphy lessons now! 😛
Not I Uncle Sam Sir!
That’s what I thought! *Stamps his frozen strawberries bag* Sealed and staff of snake approved!
Uncle Sam rips open bad swallows strawberries, chokes and has to give himself hemlock maneuver with seal . . .
(Cues seal in heat mating call sounds)
seals are pounding at the door– the line is around the block!
*Picks you you and lets you down at the front door then runs out the back door*!!
That leads to Niagara falls . . .
No seals! woohoo!!
Hahaha! We’re amazing!!
*Rows rows rows the boat “Noah” across to Niagra!!
Uh oh . . . Please don’t tell me Noah’s putting on a barrel . . to go over Niagara Falls in . . .
Oh don’t you worry noah regrets putting a hippo to sit on top of it and wait 😛
A hippo on top? Well at least Noah had the presence of mind to dress him up like a cherry!
Really? mmm always thought it was a pomegranate with tootoo but sure! 😛
Oh I can see how you got those two mixed up, I’m always doing that too (too) !
Wonder if Noah took one of each? lol
Ha! Oh I’m sure he did, he was kind of a Noah it all.
Ah, those were the days. Mom, aka – Susie Homemaker, had hours to kill and B & W soap operas for daytime entertainment.
Things back then might have been more boring but they were also so much more innocent and sweet, weren’t they? Suzie Homemaker is the glue that held it all together. (The glue she made from her Government issued bulletin# 22 The Family That Makes Glue Together Sticks Together)
I wonder if 1956 Mom read the gov’t manual on How To Avoid Being Driven To Drink All The Cooking Sherry.
Because this kitchen session might have been a lot more fun for her if she hadn’t!
(Did the manual specify if she should still wear her apron and heels while fishing?)
I don’t think she did get that how to avoid drinking cooking sherry bulletin which also includes The 1956 Mom Fishing Dress Code. I’d go try to wake her up so she could read it but I don’t think it’s going to do her any good.
1956 mom has done it again! Despite her thrillingly busy schedule she finds the time to freeze strawberries (in sugar no less!) What’s next? Taking the train to the big city? If only she had the time.
aahahahah! Even though your comment says someone I know who you are. Sigh . . . if only she had the time . . . tell 1956 Mom something she doesn’t know, someone!
Holy crow, 1956 mom… she really needed a good helping of weed. Seriously.
The only weed 1956 mom ever got near were the ones she pulled in her garden Thanks to Seconal all that weeding didn’t even bother her though.