Welcome Dear Readers! I’m going out on a computer shopping excursion today wherein I will be replacing my trusty kaput computer, Lenny Xavier. (If he somehow manages to get logged in to your e-mail or something, just tell him I’m out buying socks.)
Until then let’s take a look back at another wackadoodle adventure of 1956 Mom:
In this 1956 government issued Bulletin No. 10, the government suggests 1956 Mom go about killing the lonely hours of her day by freezing some strawberries!
To that end, the government has transformed the simple task of placing some strawberries in the freezer into a complicated, time-consuming ordeal that is guaranteed to take 1956 Mom all day long!
First, 1956 Mom needs to wash the strawberries, then gently lift them out of the water where they will be ready for contemplation (as pictured).
To kill as many lonely hours as possible, the government is suggesting 1956 Mom contemplate the berries for two hours minimum — the same length of time she was instructed to contemplate her navel in the previously issued government Bulletin No. 9 entitled 1956 Moms and Their Navels.
1956 Mom now needs to remove the hulls from the berries which is easier said than done. 1956 Mom knows that she doesn’t exactly know what a strawberry hull is — which means a trip to the local library where she can study the anatomy of a strawberry and sketch it into her Things I Once Froze diary for future strawberry freezing reference.
1956 Mom is happy to finally get to the high point of her day, the sprinkling of the sugar! Oh what fun she will have! But the fun doesn’t end there. She also gets to turn the strawberries over and over in the sugar for as long as her little arms will allow –giving nary a care to carpal tunnel syndrome — which, in 1956, hadn’t even been invented yet!
The next step is to pack the berries into a container. This step is self-explanatory. To find out more about things that are self-explanatory, 1956 Mom will have refer to previously issued government Bulletin No. 7 entitled The Government Explains Things That Are Self-Explanatory.
Next 1956 Mom is going to need to press the lid on the container firmly making sure it’s on watertight — which means 1956 Mom will have to go to the garage, locate Father’s fishing gear, then find the nearest body of water in which to throw the container. Then quickly fish it out, open the lid and check carefully for wet strawberries. Phew! What 1956 Mom won’t do to kill the lonely hours of her day!
Finally, 1956 Mom has made it to the very last step of her herculean strawberry freezing project. It was touch and go there for a couple of hours! But thanks to 1956 Mom’s perseverance, the only thing left to do now is label the containers with the name of the fruit (that’s easy . . . strawberries!) and the date she froze them. For this, 1956 Mom will carefully pen 1 9 5 6. Because if there’s one thing 1956 Mom knows, it’s her name!
Of course 1956 Mom might want to take a calligraphy class first to kill a few more hours of her lonely day — but that’s another government issued bulletin for another government issued day!
Until next time . . . I love you