What is the Royal Canadian Air Force Trying to Tell us?

Welcome Dear Readers!  Have you been eating a little too much of everything lately causing you to feel fat?  Feeling fat is a horrible feeling. To find out how horrible ‘feeling fat’ is let’s look at where feeling fat lies on a scale of one to ten:

Feeling Fat on a Scale  of 1-10

Well never fear, Dear Readers!  Help for “Feeling Fat” is on the way from the Royal Canadian Air Force!

Yes you too can look hot in your Royal Canadian Air Force uniform if you ignore the shoes!
Yes you too can look fetching in your Royal Canadian Air Force uniform (providing you leave the shoes at home)

Now you’re probably saying to yourself, but, Linda, what gives?  (If you’re not go ahead and say it to yourself, I’ll wait)

You’re not even a Canadian, Linda. Shouldn’t a post about exercising with the  Royal Canadian Air Force at least be written by a blogger who is actually from Canada like Zoe, or Trent,  or Helena? Or at least a blogger who recently visited Canada – like the effervescent Guap?  Or even Lily, our most beloved Canadian poser?

Effervescent Guap
“Peel me a poutine!”

And the answer is a resounding NO with 5 Canadian exclamation marks not including this one → !

While I was Schlepping

For I ask you, Dear Readers, where were all these so-called Canadians while I was schlepping around the thrift store hunting my fingers to the bone looking for Royal Canadian Air Force Exercise booklets from 1962 to keep you, Dear Reader, from “feeling fat?”

I’ll tell you where they were!  They were relaxing on their ice-sculpted couches, eating their poutine with their miniature hockey sticks, that Canadians use instead of forks — all the while going on and on about how great William Shatner is ad naseum in between sticking the letter “u” in random words that are just fine without them — that’s where!

But let’s get back to the topic at hand:  Feeling Fat, America’s National Epidemic that the Canadian Royal Air Force is trying its darndest to help us out with

People in Canada don’t have a “Feeling Fat” epidemic because they’re a hardy bunch of stalwart individuals who brave the bitter cold each and every day. In fact, Canadians burn more calories walking to and from their cars in freezing temperatures in one day than a typical American will burn in a week paddling on an air mattress to Hawaii or Alaska (but usually Hawaii).

So now let’s open the The Royal Canadian Air Force Exercise book and see just exactly what exercises the Royal Canadian Air Force tells us to perform to keep us from feeling fat:

Feeling fat
The Royal Canadian Air Force stresses that if you don’t have a rough towel any type of sandpaper will work.
" okay
For  “Feeling Fat” Americans  this is going to be while putting on our socks as shoes weigh us down when we’re swimming to Hawaii or, less rarely, Alaska 
Oh boy
In Canada stepping out smartly always includes carrying a chair in Canadian underwear — which, of course, goes without saying, and we Americans would do well to follow suit.

And there you have it, Dear Readers! If this little exercise in exercising the Royal Canadian Air Force way has helped you to feel a little less fat, then their job here is done, and they can go back to what they do best which is, of course, carrying chairs around in their Canadian underwear.

Until next time . . . I love you

46 thoughts on “What is the Royal Canadian Air Force Trying to Tell us?

  1. Carrying a chair around thus? I have always insisted Shirley vacuums naked to retain her figure – hasn’t worked yet mind! Then again that is the English way!

  2. I first read that as The Royal Canadian Air Farce (a satirical radio then television program up here) but I suppose I was wrong. This was a very humorous piece, darling, though I daresay the good old RCAF has some great exercise ideas!

  3. I am writing this while balancing a chair in my shorts,. It’s a bit parky, but I need to lose weight. Do you think if I put the chair down, I would weigh less?

  4. Umm…I kind of aspire to number four…

    (Who is that dashing young man poised so comfortably on that ice couch?)
    (And can he float that to Alaska?)
    (Or, more rarely, to Hawaii?)

  5. What’s better than browsing in a second hand bookstore? NOTHING, as far as I’m concerned. Thanks for NOTHING, Amazon and eReader manufacturers for destroying something that gave me a lot of pleasure.

    • I’m totally addicted to it! It’s the tiny pamphlets stuck between the books that I love. I feel like a gold prospector! I think we should protest e-books . . . but we’d have to do it online, blech /-p

  6. Good grief! Not only did we have that book, my dad did the exercises. In fact, right now, as I type, I’m doing isometrics. See how easy it is?

  7. Okay, Canadians (and you know who you are because Linda called you out), this means war. Rally the beavers! Assemble the moose! I’ll start on the poutine, you guys get some ice wine! And that photo of Guap on the ice thing…. let’s just forget we ever saw that, we don’t have lame ice sculptures in Canada. Linda, this is getting real – you may have just created a Canada-US incident!

  8. I feel faut eh? It’s probably all that Canadian bacon I’ve been eating.

    I love your list of where feeling fat lies on top 10 worst things to feel. But I find feeling fat, while it can last all day, conveniently gets pushed into the back of my mind (or thighs) when it’s time for dessert.

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