Welcome Dear Readers! Have you been eating a little too much of everything lately causing you to feel fat? Feeling fat is a horrible feeling. To find out how horrible ‘feeling fat’ is let’s look at where feeling fat lies on a scale of one to ten:
Well never fear, Dear Readers! Help for “Feeling Fat” is on the way from the Royal Canadian Air Force!
Now you’re probably saying to yourself, but, Linda, what gives? (If you’re not go ahead and say it to yourself, I’ll wait)
You’re not even a Canadian, Linda. Shouldn’t a post about exercising with the Royal Canadian Air Force at least be written by a blogger who is actually from Canada like Zoe, or Trent, or Helena? Or at least a blogger who recently visited Canada – like the effervescent Guap? Or even Lily, our most beloved Canadian poser?
And the answer is a resounding NO with 5 Canadian exclamation marks not including this one → !
While I was Schlepping
For I ask you, Dear Readers, where were all these so-called Canadians while I was schlepping around the thrift store hunting my fingers to the bone looking for Royal Canadian Air Force Exercise booklets from 1962 to keep you, Dear Reader, from “feeling fat?”
I’ll tell you where they were! They were relaxing on their ice-sculpted couches, eating their poutine with their miniature hockey sticks, that Canadians use instead of forks — all the while going on and on about how great William Shatner is ad naseum in between sticking the letter “u” in random words that are just fine without them — that’s where!
But let’s get back to the topic at hand: Feeling Fat, America’s National Epidemic that the Canadian Royal Air Force is trying its darndest to help us out with
People in Canada don’t have a “Feeling Fat” epidemic because they’re a hardy bunch of stalwart individuals who brave the bitter cold each and every day. In fact, Canadians burn more calories walking to and from their cars in freezing temperatures in one day than a typical American will burn in a week paddling on an air mattress to Hawaii or Alaska (but usually Hawaii).
So now let’s open the The Royal Canadian Air Force Exercise book and see just exactly what exercises the Royal Canadian Air Force tells us to perform to keep us from feeling fat:
And there you have it, Dear Readers! If this little exercise in exercising the Royal Canadian Air Force way has helped you to feel a little less fat, then their job here is done, and they can go back to what they do best which is, of course, carrying chairs around in their Canadian underwear.
Until next time . . . I love you