Dear Readers. Bad News! The star player in my Linda Vernon Electronics Team, my desktop computer, Lenny Xavier went mad and had to be unplugged.
There were signs but I chose not to see them
There have been signs. I won’t go into the ugly particulars, but I didn’t take them seriously. You see, Lenny Xavier had a tendency to be a bit of a hypochondriac. He was always worrying about his updates, and he was always going off-line at slightest provocation to restart. And god only knows what Lenny was doing while he was restarting. (I suspect a serious electronic- cigarette addiction.)
As with any hypochondriac, one tends to quit listening after a while. Life goes on no matter how many viruses Lenny Xavier worried himself into a state of hysteria imagining he had.
Today Lenny Xavier went beeping mad!
Today, Dear Readers, Lenny completely lost it and just started beeping and beeping and beeping and beeping! (If Lenny had hands I suspect he would have also been doing that lip strumming thing too if he had lips.)
I tried to calm him down by pushing control alt delete repeatedly and swearing at him but he just kept beeping and beeping and beeping. Dear Readers it was ever so horrifying and ever so traumatizing and ever so annoying.
I had no choice!
I had no choice but to unplug Lenny Xavier from his life support. Don’t look at my blog like that! I had too! It’s not like I shot Old Yeller! (Almost but not quite).
I just gently unplugged Lenny Xavier from life support, that’s all. After all, this time he could have really had that rabies virus he was always thinking he had.
And I swear he was on the verge of biting met too! I could tell by the way his motor was growling!
You’re probably wondering how I’m typing this right now. Call me mercenary (mercy for short), but I planned for this day by asking for a laptop computer from my husband, 37, for Christmas this year! I knew he’d get me one too because 37 can never resist an excuse to go to Fryes to purchase things that plug in.
My new little laptop, Delores, is just a pup but so far she’s a real trooper and can be counted on in an emergency such as this one. I haven’t told Delores yet about what happened to Lenny Xavier. I may have to download When Bad Things Happen to Good Computers first to soften the blow — but I’m sure she’ll rally (especially when she realizes that she, too, has a plug.)
Of course, I have no intention of running right out and replacing poor dear Lenny Xavier this morning. Naturally I’ll wait a respectable amount of time.
I figure somewhere around 2 p.m. should do it.
Until next time . . . I love you