8 Ways to Tell if You’re Too Into Coffee

Welcome Dear Readers!  Do you ever suspect that not only do you love drinking your coffee, but that maybe you are a little too into coffee itself? 

Eight Ways to Tell If You’re Too into Coffee


You’ve replaced all your buttons with coffee beans

Coffee Bean Buttons
“What? No they aren’t Milk Dud buttons, they’re coffee bean buttons! What are you? Blind?”

You just can’t understand why Juan Valdez never makes People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive

 Juan Valdez


All your furniture is coffee bean bag

girls in coffee bean bag chair


You’ve been much happier since it dawned on you that any empty space can be theoretically filled with coffee

Grand Canyon Filled with coffee


You absolutely refuse to become an astronaut until there’s a Starbucks on the Space Station

Tang in space


Frankly, if you got to drink coffee while being probed, you really wouldn’t mind being abducted by aliens all that much

“Okey Doke. One large coffee comin’ up. Cream?”

If God would have made the oceans coffee instead of salt water, you would have never dropped out of Sailor College




Sure, you might be a little jittery from drinking too much coffee, but, hey, at least you’ve never felt an earthquake

earthquake Juan Valdez


And there you have it, Dear Readers, now go enjoy your coffee (but not too much).

Until next time  . . . I love you

22 thoughts on “8 Ways to Tell if You’re Too Into Coffee

  1. Those astronauts are looking at theoretically infinitive empty space that can be filled with coffee. Soon it will be no only black holes, but antoccino holes, latte holes, macchiato holes espresso holes, flat white holes, cappuccino holes breve and cafe au lait holes….

  2. Oh man… all I can say is, bring on the aliens. And yes, the number one reason I’m not an astronaut is the lack of Starbucks up there… That’s right. Trent P. Lewin is a total Starbucks snob.

  3. I knew there was something Trent P. Lewin wasn’t telling us! That, and what the P. stands for in Trent P. Lewin. (I’d venture a guess but I’m not a very good venturer.)

  4. The usual great job; which, of course, stimulated a comment or two…

    1) You must have missed the news; they now have an espresso machine on the ISS, and can make their own lattes and mochas.Not sure if Starbucks donates the beans.

    2) GREAT detail on Juan’s horse’s mule’s eyes!

    3) Those creepy twins/sisters/Dorian Gray BFF’s are too young to be coffee addicts…. but, just look at those eyes, and those smiles!…

    4) That’s a suspiciously small bulge in the sailor on the right’s pants, even though they’re obviously “close” friends, and his hormones are pumping out like a steam engine….

    5) On a personal note, I feel a sense of accomplishment that in my lifetime, no one has yet died because my coffee wasn’t right, though two of them are still in a coma….




    • Say what? Lattes and mochas on the space station! Well I’m delighted to hear it. Gads, I can’t think of anything more boring that being stuck in that stinky (It just looks like it would have an odor) space station all the live long day and night. Well good on them! I know that expression is actually good for them but have you noticed that a lot of people use “on” instead of “for” when using that expression now? (I’m kind of a preposition nerd, so if you haven’t don’t feel bad.)
      I feel sorry for Juan’s mule, he’s the only one who will call Juan Valdez out on his bs since he got famous.
      Ha! Those girls are creepy aren’t they? Dorian Gray BFF’s, indeed!
      You’re point is well taken about the sailors. I suspect there are a lot of reasons people drop out of Sailor College and not that many of them have to do with the lack of coffee!
      Thanks for coming by Ned. I always enjoy your comments!

  5. The eye roll on the mule is priceless!

    Oh I do love a cup of coffee along with an alien probing, first thing in the morning. Takes the edge off things…especially the probing.

  6. That alien works at La Guardia. It asked me if I wouldn’t mind stepping aside please, sir. Being British, I could not resist such a polite and reasonable request. For one stupid moment, I felt confident enough to make a witty quip about whether I would be banned from entering the States if I moved to the left and not the right.

    Those fingers are remarkably thorough during a cavity search. Since that day, I remain incapable of speech until coffee number three.

    • Ah, your comment is a delight to savor! It has that perfect Remains of the Day feel to it! If only we Americans had the verbal capacity to turn a cavity search into a classy affair as you Brits do, the world would be a much better place! (Insert witty quip regarding the Queen here).

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