Gregory’s Bible Stories: Fishing Jesus Style


Welcome Dear Readers to this Sunday’s edition of Gregory’s Bible Stories.

Gregory goes to Sunday School Every week, then comes home and retells his own version of the lesson.

Let’s listen in and see what Gregory learned in Sunday School this week shall we?

 LInda Vernon humoous bible storiesFishing Jesus Style

One day, while Jesus was walking along the beach and soaking up some rays at the Sea of Galilee,  He saw two brothers who were fishermen. One was named Simon who everybody called Peter and one was named Andrew who everybody called Andy.

The fishermen were casting their fishing nets into the sea to catch some fish to take home to eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and a bedtime snack when Jesus climbed into Simon’s boat.

At least Jesus assumed it was Simon’s boat since it said Simon’s Bad Habit on the side in Hebrew.  Jesus explained that He would like to teach the people standing on the shore from the venue of Simon’s fishing boat.

Jesus recruiting the Simon Peter and Andrew

The conversation might have gone something like this:

Jesus: Hi Simon!  I’m Jesus.  Would you mind if I lecture the people who have gathered on the shore from you fishing boat.

Simon: Not at all!  But it’s kind of messy, and  I don’t have a podium or anything.

Jesus:  Not a problem.  It’s really more of an informal talk than a lecture anyway, Simon.

Simon: Sure that would be terrific. Oh and Jesus? Call me Peter, everybody does.”

But Jesus didn’t hear Peter say this as He had already started giving His talk. After that Jesus had some instructions for Simon:

Jesus:  Push the boat out further to the deep water, and you and your partners can let down your nets for a catch, Simon.”

Simon: Sure, Jesus, I’d be happy to do that, but it’s Peter.

Jesus: Where?

Simon:  No I mean, I’m Peter.

Jesus:  Then who’s Simon?”

Simon:  I’m Simon.

Jesus: But you just said you were Peter.

Simon: I am Peter.  My name’s Simon but everybody calls me Peter.

Jesus: Why?

Simon:  I don’t know.  I was hoping maybe you’d know, Jesus.

Jesus: I have no idea, Simon.

Simon: It’s Peter.

Jesus: Where?

After that Peter and his brother, Andy, let down their nets and caught such a large number of fish, their nets were about to break.  So they motioned to the fishermen in the next boat to row over and help. All the fishermen started piling the fish into their boats until their boats were so full, they were about to sink.

At that point Simon Peter fell on his knees on top of all the fish. (Even back then fishermen had no problem kneeling on fish)

Simon: “Go away from me, Lord! I am a sinful man!”

Jesus:  Don’t be afraid. From now on you will be catching men.

Simon:  You mean mermen, Jesus?” (Simon Peter was never the  brightest fisherman in the boat.)

Jesus: “No just regular men, Simon.”

Simon: “It’s Peter.”

Jesus: “Where?”

Then they pulled their boats up on the beach and left  them and all the fish and  followed Jesus. Which was fine with the fisherman since they were all thoroughly sick of fish anyway.

 And there you have it, Dear Readers, what Gregory learned in Sunday School today.  Please come back next week for another edition Gregory’s Bible Stories.

Until next time . . . I love you

 

6 thoughts on “Gregory’s Bible Stories: Fishing Jesus Style

  1. Would have been odd if his full name was Juan Peter Simon, a Spanish Jewish wet fish seller from Barcelona. ‘Well just the Juan fish then!’ … ‘No mate I caught loads’! Woody himself has never sunk that low…I shall go away and cower!

  2. I know this isn’t exactly the best place to ask a serious question but…exactly WHERE does it say he was called Jesus, spelled: J.E.S.U.S. ?

    No – seriously!!!

  3. Thank you, Linda!

    I have come over all warm and happy, just like I am five years old once more and the following fifty years never really beat the living s**t out of me for asking honest questions.

    When I die, I want to be buried just to the left of this post.

Please leave a comment. I need help finishing my sentences.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s