Hello Dear Readers and welcome to my brain, Peanuts remembers. Today’s topic is my mother, Janey.
Janey was a Fainter
When my mother was little, my grandparents had a record they would play of a bird singing. Every time, my mother heard it, she would pass out by falling over backwards.
You’d think after the initial discovery, my grandparents wouldn’t have played that record anymore, but people just thought things like that were funny in those days.
Janey also fainted in movie theaters and department stores. Once when I was in the 8th grade, we were shopping in the Crescent Department Store in downtown Spokane looking at sweaters. I hadn’t seen my mother for awhile so I thought she was trying on clothes. Well, it turns out she had fainted and woken up in the manager’s office.
Funny, it never occurred to me until just now that when Janey fainted, the clerks must have drug her into the manager’s office — like in the movies when somebody gets murdered! (If my mother was alive today, I’d call her up right now with this new revelation!)
Janey had a delicate appetite
One of my mother’s main themes in life was that her appetite was easily ruined. Any number of things could occur in which Janey could lose her appetite, not the least of which being unpleasant conversational topics at the dinner table, as well as having to observe someone (such as one of her kids) not using good table manners.
One never knew exactly what would set off Janey’s “loss of appetite” but looking back on it now, she never seemed to equate it with the case of Nestle Crunches she always kept on the top shelf of the cupboard and that she was always nibbling on — as being a factor in her “loss of appetite.”
The time Janey was a trooper
Janey was never big on water sports, but one summer Janey bucked up and decided to try her hand at water skiing behind my dad’s new fishing boat.
His boat had a weak outboard motor that was about as powerful as a sick kitten. It barely managed to pull a child up out of the water on skis, let alone an adult.
But for some reason, Janey, who had never been much into water sports decided to try water skiing. We were all a little shocked when she suggested it, as we had never see her swim without keeping her hair from getting wet, but try she did.
Stand back! Janey’s going in!
She slipped right into the water, oblivious to the fact that she could ruin her hairdo as well as smudge her fire-engine red lipstick. My brother, Peter, helped her position herself in the water with her skis. When she was finally ready, Peter gave the signal and my dad gunned it as it were.
But instead of popping Janey up out of the water, the boat pulled her along underneath the water.
I’ll never forget the image of Janey’s fire-engine red lipstick shimmering from beneath that green wake of water that was pouring over the top of her head.
But still, she hung on for dear life. And she hung on and she hung on until finally a miracle occurred! She suddenly popped up from beneath the water, and proceeded to water ski in a big circle around Williams Lake — albeit in a squatting position, but still!
Janey was water skiing! Hurray!
I hope it’s true what they say about your whole life flashing before you eyes when you die. Because I do so want to see that part again, Dear Readers!
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Well I have seen the family movie of you guys at William’a Lake, but someone missed the exciting skiing event. That would have been great to have had it recorded on film as well as in your mind.
Hi Gary!! I wonder who has those old family movies now. Maybe Peter has them. I should see if there’s a way we can get uploaded somewhere so we can all have access to them. Oh my gosh! Mom going water skiing around Williams Lake in a squatting position was one of the times I laughed the hardest in my life! Oh if only we would have gotten it all on tape!! HA!
My mother wouldn’t have been caught dead doing that! She hated the water. haha. It’s kind of funny though. 😉
You mom sounds like mine Jackie. I think that was the first and only time she ever went underwater! 😀 But then hair was so hard to style in those days, with the curlers and all. I really don’t blame her for not wanting to get her hair wet. 😀
I remember those curlers my mom wore! The ones with the stick through them. They always made wicked weapons for my siblings. 😉
Oh I remember those! They were like little plastic Barbie swords! How uncomfortable sleeping on curlers! I only did it a few times, I just couldn’t stand it. I definitely had 1967 “hair fail!”
How nice, Linda! 🙂
Ah thanks Blue Jelly Beans! 😀
I think I inherited Janey’s fainting spells since I tend to faint willy nilly.
Come to think of it, it might have been all those Nestlé Crunch candy bars which caused the fainting. Talk about blood sugar spikes!
Hahah! You know what? You are probably right. She probably forgot to bring her Nestles Crunches with her shopping! 😀
That video was not Janey doing a belly-flop into the water: it was ME when I was a teen.
Oh Ronnie! You too? I once did a bellyflop off the high board to impress a boy who was at the pool. Oh I impressed him all right. Everybody came over and asked if I was alright when I surfaced! I was wishing I would have drowned! 😀
That does seem like your mother. I remember her as prim and proper. Guess I didn’t see her that much. But I do remember her being a fraile lady.
You’re right. She was very prim and proper. That’s a good way to put it. She was also highly sensitive and easily frightened! Which is why we all got such a kick out of her even attempting to water ski! 😀
Love this tale, I love Crunch Bars – finally something we had both sides of the Atlantic
I guess that’s why the song says N E S T L E S Nestle’s is the very best! chooooclaaate.
Unless you guys add a “u” to it.
You have a song?!?! We never got a song.
What you didn’t get the song? Joe! The song was the best part! Here it is in a very very strange commercial:
I will listen to this at home, not sure my office is ready for it 🙂
I’m thinking how embarrassing it would be to be memorialized in a world-wide-blog post for constantly being popped into the water, full speed ahead. . . . . .
Haha! Oh wouldn’t that be awful! Hmm . . . but it might make a good story . . .