Ten Ways to Tell If You Need a New Cat


You just noticed your current cat’s expiration date expired a year ago.

Why are you looking at me like that cat
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

 Your current cat’s breath smells like Funyuns.

cat breath
“Ew! Everybody stand back!”

Frankly, your current cat’s a little too much of a bible thumper for your liking.

cat reading bible
“If you’re going out you better be going to church.”

 Your current cat loads dirty dishes in with the clean dishes and then runs them all through again.

cat loading dishwasher
“Wait a minute . . . I think these are clean . . . oh what the hell.”

Your current cat leaves big strips of tall grass whenever it mows the lawn.

cat mowing lawn
“If this were my yard, I’d replace it with sand lickity split.”

 Your current cat’s a gloater

cat gloater
“Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

 Your current cat thinks Mt. Rushmore is a natural formation.

cat mt. rushmore
“I don’t care what anybody says. This here’s caused by water erosion.”

 No matter how many times you try to explain it, your current cat keeps sewing the elastic waistband into the bottom of the pant leg.

cat sewing
“I’m gonna do it right. I’m gonna do it right. I’m gonna do it right . . .”

You suspect your current cat is the one who maxed out your credit cards on http://www.bevmo.com

cat with beer
“I was thoisty.”

And finally, the best way to tell if you need a new cat:

You installed a nanny cam and, sure enough, it’s your current cat that keeps stealing the last maple bar.

cat with maple bar
Whaaat? 

8 thoughts on “Ten Ways to Tell If You Need a New Cat

  1. I love when animals are the subject matter for jokes. It is never offensive and yours were especially cute! You came up with some clever and catchy original thoughts for cat owners and readers alike!

    • Oh thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I wrote the topics before I hunted online for the pictures. But I was absolutely amazed to find a picture to match each of the topics. HA! It just goes to show you how Cats rule the internet! Thanks so much for stopping by!

  2. Whaaaa?! I thought Mt. Rushmore WAS a natural formation! Or at least my cat did. Then again she doesn’t even know what state Mount Rushmore resides.

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