Ten Ways to Tell If You Need a New Cat

May 11, 2015 Linda Vernon Lists, The Daily Routinebible thumping cats, cat humor, cat peeves, cats who can't mow, cats with bad breath, current cat vs new cat, humor, humour, overly religious cats, should you get rid of your cat?

You just noticed your current cat’s expiration date expired a year ago.

Why are you looking at me like that cat — “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Your current cat’s breath smells like Funyuns.

cat breath — “Ew! Everybody stand back!”

Frankly, your current cat’s a little too much of a bible thumper for your liking.

cat reading bible — “If you’re going out you better be going to church.”

Your current cat loads dirty dishes in with the clean dishes and then runs them all through again.

cat loading dishwasher — “Wait a minute . . . I think these are clean . . . oh what the hell.”

Your current cat leaves big strips of tall grass whenever it mows the lawn.

cat mowing lawn — “If this were my yard, I’d replace it with sand lickity split.”

Your current cat’s a gloater

cat gloater — “Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Your current cat thinks Mt. Rushmore is a natural formation.

cat mt. rushmore — “I don’t care what anybody says. This here’s caused by water erosion.”

No matter how many times you try to explain it, your current cat keeps sewing the elastic waistband into the bottom of the pant leg.

cat sewing — “I’m gonna do it right. I’m gonna do it right. I’m gonna do it right . . .”

You suspect your current cat is the one who maxed out your credit cards on http://www.bevmo.com

And finally, the best way to tell if you need a new cat:

You installed a nanny cam and, sure enough, it’s your current cat that keeps stealing the last maple bar.

8 thoughts on “Ten Ways to Tell If You Need a New Cat”

summerstommy2 says:

May 11, 2015 at 2:24 pm

Hi Linda, very entertaining. I don’t have a cat so this issue never arises but for cat people I guess it does.
Do you follow John Howell’s blog, your post reminded me of the funny entries he puts on his blog.
Here is a link to his latest one: http://johnwhowell.com/2015/05/11/top-ten-things-not-to-do-when-its-your-birthday/

Reply
- Linda Vernon says:
  
  May 12, 2015 at 10:05 am
  
  Glad you liked it Michael. No, I’ve never been to John Howell’s blog, but I shall buzz over and check it out post haste. Thanks for the heads up!
  
  Reply
reocochran says:

May 11, 2015 at 2:48 pm

I love when animals are the subject matter for jokes. It is never offensive and yours were especially cute! You came up with some clever and catchy original thoughts for cat owners and readers alike!

Reply
- Linda Vernon says:
  
  May 12, 2015 at 10:17 am
  
  Oh thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I wrote the topics before I hunted online for the pictures. But I was absolutely amazed to find a picture to match each of the topics. HA! It just goes to show you how Cats rule the internet! Thanks so much for stopping by!
  
  Reply
Jackie says:

May 11, 2015 at 4:29 pm

Whaaaa?! I thought Mt. Rushmore WAS a natural formation! Or at least my cat did. Then again she doesn’t even know what state Mount Rushmore resides.

Reply
- Linda Vernon says:
  
  May 12, 2015 at 10:18 am
  
  Sh . . . please don’t tell your cat, Stephanie, it’s not a natural formation!
  
  Reply
pattisj says:

May 11, 2015 at 6:21 pm

I’m not sure a new cat will be any better!

Reply
Linda Vernon says:

May 12, 2015 at 10:19 am

Ha ha!! I think you’re right Patti!

Reply