Welcome, Dear Readers, to this Sunday’s edition of The Bible According to Gregory.
Today in Sunday School, Gregory learned about how all of Noah’s descendants got together to build the tower of Babel, and he couldn’t help imagining how that might have happened.
The Tower of abel-Bay
Even though Noah lived to be 950 years old, he never topped the time he saved the animal kingdom and mankind from extinction. Still, he kept busy puttering in his vineyard and joking with his sons about how many grandkids it would take to put oil in a lamp.
After awhile though, there were so many kids being born that parents quickly ran out of the easy to pronounce names, like Gomer, and had to resort to giving them names that were so hard to pronounce everybody just called everybody else “hey you in the robe.”
Then they all wandered around together veering east, until they came to a really nice valley in the land of Shi’nar so they decided to build a city there and call it Babylon in lieu of Shi’nar — thus circumventing thousands of years of annoying apostrophe placement questions in one simple decision.
Hey you in the robe #1: Hey everybody! Doesn’t this look like a really nice place to build a city? Let’s name it Babylon.
Hey you in the robe #2: Why Babylon?
Hey you in the robe #1: Because we’re all more or less a baby of Noah.
Hey you in the robe #2: Okay that explains the baby — but why the lon?
Hey you in the robe #1: Lon means city.
Hey you in the robe #2: No it doesn’t!
Hey you in the robe #1: What are you, an attorney?
Hey you in the robe #2: I’m a linguist.
Hey you in the robe #1: How’s business?
Hey you in the robe #2: Pretty slow what with everyone speaking the same language using the same words and whatnot.
Hey you in the robe #1: Dude, you’re complicating my buzz!
Hey you in the robe #2: Come again?
And thus it was decided to build a city and call it Babylon, and it was also decided to build a tower with its “top in the heavens” so that they could make a name for themselves by replacing the banner that said “If you lived here you’d be home now!” with whatever their names were.
Hey you in the robe #1: What do you want to build the city out of?
Hey you in the robe #2: Let’s make bricks and stick them together with tar! What’s wrong, you look disappointed?
Hey you in the robe #1: I was kind of hoping we’d use Legos.
Hey you in the robe #2: Come again?
“Nah, we have to use bricks.”
“Says who?”
“Hey you in the robe.”
“That guy bugs me.”
After the city and the tower were built, the Lord came down for a site inspection.
Hey you in the robe #1: Well how do you like it, Lord?
But the lord only answered by saying out loud to himself and his new heavenly companions that he met on Faceofgodbook, “This is just the beginning of what they will do, soon they will be able to do anything they want! Let us go down and mix up the languages so that they will not understand each other.”
Hey you in the robe #1: Hey you in the robe #2, what did the Lord mean when he said that?
Hey you in the robe #2: Icksnay on the Owertay!
Hey you in the robe #1: Come again?
Hey you in the robe #2: Lord no likee. We’re all being ansferredtray.
Hey you in the robe #1: Where toski?
Hey you in the robe #2: evelandclay.
Hey you in the robe #1: Oway itshay!
Hey you in the robe #1: You can say that againski!
And there you have it, Dear Readers, how Gregory imagined what really happened at the Tower of Babel. Be sure to check back next Sunday to see what Gregory learns in Sunday School!
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Great article how about checking my blog out 🙂
Okay. 😀
What the?! Am I on the Linda Vernon site?!! 😉 Not only are languages changing, but the time changed recently and now this blog again…I’m so confused. I think I’ll go build a tower and look down from above. Maybe then I’ll know what’s going on. hatway oday ouyay hinktay?
Then we’d have to yell out “Watch out for the edge, hey you in the Hawaiian robe!”.
Ahahah! I guess some of mankind did get scattered to Hawaii. What a sweet deal for them and their robes.
No Hawaiian robes! You’re not Hawaiian Joseph!
Have you tried this Euphrates pineapple?
reminds me of the tropics.
And stop mocking my coat of many neon colors in the shape of odd plants and Studebakers.
Mmmmm…pineapple!
It’s really bright over here. Linda do you have a pair of very dark sunglasses?! Someone’s ugly Hawaiian shirt is blinding me
Quick!! Take my blindfold, Bucky!
Oh man if I could see it through the brightness, I would so be grabbing it! Can you make your way close to me with it?
I’ll try, that shirt . . . I’m feeling a bit woozy. I’ll try throwing them . . . catch!
Got it, cover your eyes quick!
Covered . . .
Phew, and then boot him out!
Roger! Over and out.
Haha! Yes it’s me alright! You came to the right place — I just slapped a fresh coat of paint on the wall and rummaged around in a magazine from 1932 to find an image for the banner. But I can certainly see why you’re onfusedway! What with the time change and the language change. Well at least Gregory didn’t grow a beard. Wait a minute . . . I think I kind of like the idea of Gregory with a beard . . . hm . . .
ahaha! Yes Gregory with a beard’s a great idea!!!
Okay, next week watch for stubble! 😀
I love stubble!
Gosh you have such a great attitude!
As long as there’s no Hawaiian shirts around. 😉
Oh of course, that goes without saying no matter what the situation is ;D
I like how you think!
And I like how you think too, great minds do think alike!
We really do don’t we! Go peanuts!
And go . . . uh . . . what’s your brain’s name?
hiccup
Ahahah! Perfect. Hell little Hiccup hi from me!
lol! I shall do what you said and hell little Hiccup hi 😉
LOL!! Oh hell why not?
ahaha! Hiccup says, hell back
Hey! I really like Hiccup!!
I think peanuts and hiccup could get along. 😉
Not only do they get along, they could have their own TV show!
Now you’re onto something!! Go peanuts!
Peanuts is one it!
Yay peanuts!!
Oops! I meant on it. GAH!! I cannot type lately! I’m blaming Peanuts!
Hiccup understood totally! lol
LOL!! 😀
First of all, I love your layout. Second of all, I love Gregory’s stories. And now I know that my nickname, hey you in the robe, is actually a traditional name! 🙂
Oh I’m glad you like it, Lily uh I mean Hey You In the Robe! See you are a traditional girl after all! 😀
They will be putting this play on in Stratford I believe – as to the actors you choose I’d be fascinated. Also, if the old boy lived to 950 then I bet the local authorities we a tad miffed funding his bus pass for 885 years!
I’d hate to think how poor government would be if we all lived to be 950! Oh and as to the actors. That’s an interesting though: I kind of like the idea of Christopher Lloyd as Noah, but then again, Christopher Walken might make a very interesting Noah too. . . And Bill Murray would have to be in there somewhere and possibly Danny Devito . .
Great new look Linda. I think the pink suits the overall tone of your blog. I think had I know before what I know now my whole religious upbringing could well have been changed and modified all for the better. Thank you for this uplifting and revealing post. Take care.
Oh thank you so much for you kinds words, Michael. I’m so glad you found the post uplifting! I love when that happens. And I spend so much time at my blog I feel almost feel as refreshed about the new colors as I would if I would have painted an actual room in the house!, LOL!! 😀
The colours are striking Linda. Like you’ve had a complete makeover. Must be what it is like when you get a physical one. Must try it.
Ha! Yes I think it is like a makeover! Maybe I’ll die my hair pink now to match!! 😀
Only if you are able to put up photos to prove it..be interesting wouldn’t it. Your children? How might they view it?
Oh now that’s an interesting idea. How would they view it? They would probably think their old ma finally blew her gasket!
There is a novel called ‘indelible Ink’ in which a 60 yr old woman whose husband has left her for a younger woman has a turn around in her life. She gets a tattoo, then a few more. Her children are aghast that their straight laced stay at home mother could be so audacious. So Linda I think anything is possible, even a pink make over. Imagine you could have your photo on the blog page with the caption, spot me on my blog page. You could start a trend.
Oh what a daringly wonderful idea Michael!! Oh now I really want to read that novel. I’m gong over to amazon right now and order it. (See how great is that, that we can do that?) 😀
Indelible ink, Fiona McGregor
I went over to Amazon and there’s an Audible Audio edition of it too. I’ve been wanting to try that new service so I’m pondering getting the audio edition.
Have someone read it for you Linda sounds like a plan.
Instead of building a tower, they should have worked on inventing new colors for unique robes so they could be more specific in calling each other – “hey you in the lime chartreuse robe!”…ok, maybe not…
I love that idea! Too bad you weren’t around during the Old Testament times, Guap! Everything would have made so much more sense!