An Ode to the Chemicals in Herbal Essence Hairspray
Dimethyl Ether Alcohol
Rolling off the tongue, you do enthrall
Plus, you keep my hair in place and all
If I had your name? I’d have a ball!
Amino Methyl Propanol
My follicles will never fall
My hair it stands up straight and tall
Thanks Amino Methyl Propanol!
My hair’s tough . . . like linoleum
You’re better than petroleum
Now come here and take the podium!
Do I need to tell you that you’re great?
My hair conforms to your mandate
(Perhaps you are my hair’s soul mate)
You’re name’s so long it’s quite insane!
But you’ve got my hair on a ball and chain
Your the next best thing since urethane
I think you gave my hair a spinal?
Either that or it’s suicidal
Whatever the case, your say is final
My hair’s addicted to you alone
And wondering if you’d give a loan
Cause it needs to buy some methadone
Until next time . . . I love you