Save Room for Schuh!


“Sometimes I just want to punch you!”
“What? But wwwhhhyyy???”

Hello Dear Readers!

I found this wonderful Viennese Folk Dancing LP at the thrift store for us to examine more closely.  Let’s take a little look see, shall we?

Viennese Dances “Ya!”

Here we have a collection of Viennese dance-songs which are sung by Austrian man peasants while other Austrian peasants perform intricate Viennese folk dances.

Well now!  Isn’t that a fine kettle of Neujahrsschießen!

I may not know much about the country of Austria, but that definitely doesn’t stop me from thinking I do.  Here’s my best guess about what the Viennese songs and folk dances featured on this LP might be about:

First up is the hauntingly beautiful —

Hochzeitmarsch aus Ebensee (from Tanze)

This ironic folk dance opens with the Austrian peasant, Hoch, who is wading in the marsh when he becomes stuck in the mud clear up to his eben, see?  And a beautiful peasant girl, Aus from Tanze,  grabs him — and in a series of complicated twists — manages to free his eben, see?  The act of which paralyzes Hoch for the rest of his life, even though Hoch inexplicably retains the full use of his eben, see? Which is probably where the irony comes in but nobody is really sure what’s going on so maybe not.

Next is the surprisingly poignant:

Schuhplattler (from Bauernmusi)

Austrian Peasant Mrs. Butterhorn dances exuberantly past all the young maidens in the village of Bauernmusi carrying a large plattler of schuh.  The maidens  jump and twirl for joy as Mrs. Butterhorn carries her plattler of Schuh through the village square where they all gaily sit down at the annual Neujahrsschießen Feast and everybody partakes heartily and dies shortly thereafter from food poisoning which everybody blamed on a bad batch of Schuh.  Things are pretty much downhill from there on out.  If you ever decide to go to a live performance of Schuhplattler, definitely plan to leave at the intermission.

And finally, a story that is near and dear to all our hearts:

Guggu Polka

Of all the music and dancing performed on this LP, Guggu Polka is perhaps the most well known.  We join our revelers just as Austria’s most famous seafaring explorer, Guggu Polka shimmies his way into town in celebration of his historic discovery that there is absolutely no way to get to the ocean from Austria.  His crew of 18 sailors do a fantastic kick line while dragging the would-be seafaring vessel christened The Hokey Pokey along behind them. Then the villagers put their right foot in and put their right foot out and that’s when Guggu Polka trips and dies.  It may not have a happy ending, but sometimes that’s what it’s all about.

Until next time . . . I Bauerngalopp you

“That is the lamest high five I’ve ever seen!”

22 thoughts on “Save Room for Schuh!

  1. Funny… I thought I learned to speak German…. I guess they must speak Austrian, instead…. and, please, I don’t want to know what an “eben” is, given its context in the piece above…. 🙂 It’s nice to be back!

    • Ha! I guess it’s all open to interpretation! I don’t know how they manage to get anything done in Europe with all the language differences. Just think if everyone of our states had a different language!

      • Don’t they?…. Seems to me they do, at least in some areas of culture… I’m old enough I’m having trouble with some of the newer slang dialects that have arisen, especially in urban culture…. Oh well, at least it’s all English, sort of…. 🙂

        • Haha yes sort of. I even have trouble with the older slang. Every time I call somebody a tool my daughter and son-in-law get a hearty laugh. Apparently I’m not using it right! I remember my mother using slang wrong and getting a kick out of it too. She could never say Hello?! (as in what were you thinking . . . hello!?) She just couldn’t get the inflection right. It was hilarious!

          • Yes, it’s kind of reassuring to know that we can look forward to being a source of humor for our children as we get old…. I guess it could be called reassuring…. that or disheartening…. 🙂

            • Well I know my parents were a source of humor for me in that regard so I guess time just marches on. The more things change the more they stay the same!
              (I wonder if Yogi Berra said that . . )

  2. This is seriously killing me mom! I am a laughing out loud at each one of your descriptions! It actually makes me want to listen to some of the songs so I can picture the dances you described. I think my favorite is the posined platter of Schuh.

  3. Okay, I started laughing with the ” hauntingly beautiful” description. By the time I got to Hoch and his Eben, see, well, I was hysterical.
    You’ve really out done yourself here, Linda, and might I add, given us all a wonderful Viennese dance education. Next time I’m invited to a polka I won’t be shy about joining in. thanks!

  4. Haha Lisa, so glad you liked it, see? Poor Hoch, but I guess we can all be thankful about his eben! And I’m so glad you’ve decided to join in on the Polka! It actually would be a lot of fun to be able to dance to the Polka, for a little while anyway. Until the effects of the Schuh set in, that is! 😀

  5. Linda, being myself half-Viennese, I am deeply shocked by your writing. You are absolutely bang on the money. You REALLY should go there! They have your sense of humor. Example: Just south of Vienna is a ski resort that has no snow in summer. So instead, they take you up in the ski-lift and give you a big version of a kid’s scooter…and you scoot all the way down the grassy mountain instead. Helmet optional. Problem: There’s a huge tree on one of the bends that people keep smashing into and nearly killing themselves. Austrian Solution: strap a mattress around it and tell people to “watch out for the tree”.

    • LOLOL! You have just described my dream vacation Roadwax! But I want to wait until after they’ve written some music and come up with a folk dance for depicting the Summer Festival of Matresses! Who knew Austrians were such fun-loving crazies! Lucky you for being half! 😀

  6. How I have missed your quirky creativity! Now that I have a real job with actual work, I’m behind by two weeks in reading blogs.. Oy! Know how much I love reading your blog! And please forgive me!

    Pink.

    • Oh Pink thank you so much. I hope you are liking your new job! It is so hard to keep up even when you don’t have a job! And I love reading your blog too. I always come away feeling warm and fuzzy!! 😀 Thank you for taking the time to come by even with what has to be a very busy schedule! ❤

  7. That was quite a crock of Schuh, and it made me laugh my Eben off. I knew it was gonna be a great post as soon as I saw 37 doin’ the boogaloo in that first image. But why is he dancing in his golf clothes?? : P

    • LOL Mark! That 37 can really dance, can’t he? And I knew you were the kind of guy who would appreciate a crock of schuh! LOL! Oh and so sorry about your Eben! Hahaha! 😀

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