Hello Dear Readers! This week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge was to write a story using the third definition of the word, hollow:: lacking in real value, sincerity, or substance : false,meaningless <hollow promises> <a victory over a weakling is hollow and without triumph — Ernest Beaglehole>
Roweena Patina’s Tea Party
Roweena Patina was late for tea. Her mother-in-law, Tulip Aarff, invited her three days ago and yet, somehow, Roweena didn’t know how, she completely forgot!
Now Roweena found herself racing through the streets of Van Schmoodenfloffen, at such a furious pace that one of her wooden shoes flung itself off just as she was passing the Van Windenflooffen Bakery.
And even though Roweena felt her shoe fly off — she was in such a tizzy, she didn’t even bother stopping to retrieve it — despite the aroma of Van Boozlephaffen Pie tempting her . . . tempting her . . . tempting her!
For you see, Roweena, had managed to pile on fifty-three pounds during the annual Glockenflockenfluff Fish Festival to the mighty chagrin of her mother-in-law, Tulip Aarff.
In fact, Tulip Aarff found Roweena Patina lacking discipline in every respect — both as a human being, in general, and as a daughter-in-law in particular. Now, Tulip Aarff could add “fat” to her myriad list of Roweena Patina complaints.
For Tulip Aarff made it her hobby to find fault in the tiniest imperfections of her daughter-in-law’s personage. And today, Tulip Aarff was about to hit the jackpot when it came to her favorite amusement.
When at last Roweena arrived at the double Dutch door of her mother-in-law’s cottage, she said a prayer for protection, then knocked.
“Enter this instant!” commanded Tulip Aarff. “For the cold herring is getting warm and the warm tea is getting cold!”
When Roweena stepped inside with her shoeless foot, her disheveled apron and her bonnet hopelessly askew, Tulip Aarff gasped the Great Mother-in-Law Gasp of the Ages.
“You’re late as usual!” Tulip Aarff barked.
With a hollow smile and a sugary, sweet voice, Roweena said, “I’m only late, my dearest mother-in-law, because I was baking you this “special” Hagleslagen Cuppencaken!
When Roweena finished her tea, she bid Tulip Aarff a cheerful adieu. A cheerful adieu that Tulip Aarff failed to acknowledge, however, what with her being dead and all.
* * *
Until next time . . . I love you
Photo from http://www.illustratedpast.com/holland/dutch-national-costumes.html
Linda Vernon Humor 
Roweena Patina. Love her.
Thanks KG! So glad you liked Roweena — the diabolical dutch girl! 😀
🙂 nice piece, apt names and smiles every now and then 🙂
Thank you Rashmenon. So glad you enjoyed reading! 😀
Great story mom! I will admit that Cuppencaken of death sounds pretty tasty! I hope Roweena made extras. I know a few people who could use a slice.
Oh boy! It would be handy to have a dozen on hand for, shall we say, emergencies? Ha! 😀
And yet, despite the delightful cleverness of the story, I find myself hoping for a sequel, wherein the Schmoodenfloffen clan unites by marriage with the Windenflooffen family, and open a series of 5 and 10 krone stores called FloffenFloofens.
Hahahaha!! What a great sequel that would be indeed! I’m going to go start baking a big batch of cupencakens to get myself in the mood to write it! 😀
Note to self: never eat special Hagleslagen Cuppencaken. 😛
Plus they’re really fattening! 😀
I know just who deserves a Cuppencaken of death!! LOL! Thanks for making me laugh!
LOL Lisa!! About a baker’s dozen I’d say! 😀
I just can’t believe your mind. I am so envious that you can come up with such stellar themes and outlandish names to go right with them for every single prompt. I want a Cuppencaken but not the “bad” kind. Picture, as always, caps off the story perfectly. So fun each and every time I visit you here.
Gina! Thank you so much! What a kind comment and I feel totally inspired from it! It makes me want to celebrate by eating a batch of cuppencakens, the good kind! 😀
lmao this is great! 😀 Very enjoyable and fun!
Ah! Thank you! You may be Draug 419, but you’ll always be Draug 420 to me! 😀
So light it makes me laugh out loud until that cool last line. I love the names.
Thanks Latitudes! I did have a lot of fun with the names – they really lead the story. So glad you enjoyed them. 😀
I loved the darkness lurking just below the surface of your dancing prose. Favorite line: “Enter this instant!” commanded Tulip Aarff. “For the cold herring is getting warm and the warm tea is getting cold!” Masterful fun as always!
Oh my gosh! Thank you Jennifer for you kind and music to my eyes words!! So glad you enjoyed it. I know I always have a lot of fun writing them. 😀
Your tales amaze me. Brilliant.
Oh thank you so much Deanabo! 😀
The names are particularly hilarious today. Greatest last line – with her being dead and all. True genius.
Oh my gosh Stephanie B. Thank you so much! 😀
Another gem. Enjoyed it thoroughly.
Oh I’m so glad you enjoyed it Ruby! 😀
Very funny. The names, the rhythm, the pace, the last line, all perfect. I don’t know why, but I’m especially partial to the ‘double Dutch door’, love the way it sounds.
such a fun piece. the names are really funny.
Oh so glad you liked it E! Thanks for coming by and checking it out. I do appreciate it! 😀
This was a fun read, well, until the MIL died. Never mind, even that part was fun! So, um…where can you find the recipe for this, uh Hagleslagen Cuppencaken? Just curious, that’s all 😆
Oh Jannat what a coincidence that you should ask! It just so happens I am compiling a Cuppencaken Cookenbooken -101 Delicious Ways to Get Rid of Leftover Arsenic! I’ll let you know the very second it’s completed 😀 Shall I put you down for a dozen copies?
Oh my Glockenflocken!! One of your funniest ever!! Cuppencaken has just become my all-time favorite word, and I’m a pretty literate guy, probably know at least 50-60 wordenverbens!!
The photo of Tulip vus der tippytoppen!! Man, if she’d lived long enough to pack on another 300 pounds, she’da been a dead ringerdinger for Al Gorenborin’– only with much better hair!! : P
Haha! Well I always suspected you were in the 50 to 60 wordenverben range, Mr. MacGiggles! LOL!! Oh and I love the idea of our beloved Al Gorenborin’ taking a little trip to Dutch land. And maybe coming back with a girlfriend as hottentotten as Tulip! I bet they would have a mutual love for cuppencakens! HA! 😀