Inappropriate Items to Send in Your Child’s Backpack on the First Day of Kindergarten
Signed blank checks made out to the teacher
Fifty Shades of Gray coloring crayons
Firecrackers
The kitty that has ringworm
Five Hour Energy Drinks
Any type of blow torch
Daddy’s arrest warrant
The I Ching
Opened bottles of ink
Mommy’s list of euphemisms for the f-word
Birds of any variety (dead or alive)
Molten Lava
Mommy’s note explaining why she ran off with the Gardner
Any type of antifreeze
Foods that are exactly the same size as a five-year-old’s esophagus
Daddy’s empty Jack Daniels Bottles
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Love this sooooo much. I bought my daughter a backpack off the internet. It is adorable! But…kind of…teeny tiny. On her first day, she cried because she couldn’t fit her folder in there. Oops. Maybe if I wouldn’t have stuffed all those birds and blow torches in there, the folder would have fit?
LOLOL!!!!! Oh Melissa! I’ve got tears in my eyes right now. Lololol!
Glad to see The Kama Sutra is not on the list.
Excuse me, I have to go shopping for some 5 year olds…
Ahahhahahahaha! Bingo!
Leave it to you!
Hey, it’s an educational tool!
(If I knew then what I know now, I’d be a lot more flexible.) 😉
ahaha maybe it’s time to become an contortionist
Oh that would be useful for all kinds of things. Like if you get locked out of your car you could get in through the gas tank.
peanuts is always on the ball with ideas!
Ha ha! Yes Peanuts never drops that ball except for that one time . . . it got flushed down the . . . oh well, nevermind.
well at least it would have landed on an apple and been saved..
LOL!!
😉
LOL!!
I see Mommy’s sex toys didn’t make the list. That might help the teacher relax after a long day dealing with 5 yr olds.
Well, if you hurry, maybe you can catch Guap with that idea, he’s making a Kama Sutra run . . .
ahaha!
Omygod… Linda, I nearly fell off my chair laughing, honestly. Had I been anywhere in the vicinity of chocolate milk, it would have shot out my nose.
I love how some of them are so absurd (ie. Foods that are exactly the same size as a 5 year old’s esophagus) and then others are pretty simple and yet equally as redonkulous (yes, it’s a word) (ie. the I-Ching).
SO glad I started following you!
That chocolate milk compliment is about as good as it gets, Helen! Thank you so much! And you’re following me? Ah well welcome! We have a lot of fun over here at the children’s table. I’ve got a redonkulous chair over here with your name on it! 😀
It’s Helena, darling — now that I’m following you, I feel I should straighten that bit out =P
I also really liked the signs that you’re an Alien.
Glad you liked the Alien signs, Helena (and thanks for straightening that out. I sometimes get ahead of myself.)
So as long as cats don’t have ringworm they’re acceptable?
I believe so. 😀
duly noted…
:D!