“Ha ha! That’s not a fish, honey, it’s a marine mammal!”
Research Shows that Dolphins Are Ten Times Stronger than Human Athletes
Researchers at the Liquid Life Laboratory at West Chester University headed by a researcher actually named, Frank Fish, set out to determine whether a dolphin is ten times stronger than a human athlete.
Some of Frank Fish’s colleagues –Paul Porpoise and Mary Marine-Mammal — wanted the research to determine whether dolphins were five times as strong as as human athletes but apparently Frank Fish has to have his own way or he’ll end up pouting even more than usual.
Using nothing but a scuba tank and an ordinary garden soaker, the researchers watched the vortices in the water created by the dolphins to determine how fast the dolphins were swimming.
The researchers were able to determine that the dolphins were swimming way, way faster than a human athlete, that’s for sure, but are holding off on announcing their findings until they double check what the word “vortices” means again.
“To get to the better jokes!”
“Ahhahaha! Now that’s funny!”
Hyenas could possibly be as bright as some primates — but either way have a much better sense of humor
Researchers have discovered that Hyenas are adept at solving problems and can even count (which would explain their excellent comedic timing). Scientists now believe that the hyenas may even have intelligence levels that match some primates.
After studying the expressions on hyenas’ faces ad nauseam, researchers have concluded that hyenas can assess the size of a competing pack by listening to the rival packs’ laughter — to determine if the rival pack out number them as well as whether or not the jokes the rival pack of hyenas were laughing at were actually funny.
Scientists also observed that hyenas solved problems through trial and error. When the hyenas were confronted with a box of food, the hyenas tried to get it out trying different methods until they were successful — causing scientists to be even more impressed with the intelligence of the hyenas — because apparently none of the scientists has ever owned a dog or a cat.
The scientists were quick to point out, however, that scientists are still smarter than hyenas.
Do You Suffer From Hindsight Bias?
Those who “knew the answer all along” may not be quite as clever as they are making themselves out to be,” say researchers at Northwestern University in Chicago.
After studying this “thinking you know something when you don’t” phenomenon, they have come to the conclusion that people too often feel they knew something all along, but actually didn’t — they just thought they did. Researchers call this phenomenon: Hindsight Bias.
However, a group of highly-respected women who have been studying the phenomenon for the past 37 years have come up with what they feel is a more appropriate term for hindsight bias: Husbands.
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Until next time . . . I love you
Dear Linda,
Thanks for telling me something I knew all along. I been meaning to share this information but it just never came up in everyday conversation (or bloggersation). One important fact concerning the hyenas – some packs have evolved to the point where they play recorded laugh-tracks to confuse other packs and get higher ratings on Comedy Central.
LOL! I think we waited far too long to bring up the topic of pre-recorded laugh tracks in the wild kingdom in everyday bloggersation!! I guess to be kind the scientists who, up until reading your comment, thought they were the only primates who knew how to work a tape recorder.
It’s comforting to know that the scientists a studying Truly Useful Things 🙂
They are definitely hard at work! At least they seem to think they are! 😀
They are also hard at work inventing artificial flavors for flavors that already exist.
Hahah! I’ve never thought of that before!
In a secret underground government bunker.
I knew it!!
Every once in a while, one scientist turns to the guy next to him, holds out some powder on a little plastic spoon, and says, “Does this taste like strawberry to you?”
LOL!
Our tax dollars at work…
No wonder jam’s so expensive!
Yeah… I guess milking strawberries is expensive too.
I’m fighting for strawberry rights, will you join me?
To use them or to save them???
Both? Neither? Help me out here, Pouring.
I like natural flavors…
Vorti.. vota vodwha? you mean the rate the splashes happen with dolphins? 😛
Reading your comment, I see they mean Vodka.
With a splash of dolphin.
Delicious!
OH now we talking lol!
Mm . . . my favorite new drink!
I think the scientists should think about why studying hyenas makes them nauseous.
Yes!! They could probably stretch that study out of years and years! 😀
Crike, where do they find these researchers? You’re not making this up are you!
I”m only making part of it up! The studies are all true.
Oh my gosh…
Highly-respected women… studying the problem… for 37 years… hmm! Interesting number, 37… Yes, a very odd coincidence, especially given the fact that the high-respected woman writing this post is married to a hyena named 37. I mean, a husband named 37. I mean… well, I guess it’s too close to call… : )
Ha ha! It is definitely too close to call! hyena 37 laughs every 15 minutes whether he needs to or not. I always try to time all my jokes on his laughing schedule! Oops gotta go, he’s about ready to laugh again . . . .