The Overly-Creative-Writing Lady Tackles the Drip Irrigation Guidelines

Hello Dear Readers!  Holy Cow!  Guess who’s here again today?  It seems The Overly-Creative-Writing Lady has agreed to edit some guidelines for us.

The Overly Creative Writer Lady

The Overly Creative Writer Lady would like us to take out our Drip Irrigation Guidelines and turn to the first page!

Page 1 of our Drip Irrigation System Guidelines

Let’s see how The Overly-Creative Writing Lady edits this sentence from the Drip Irrigation Guidelines:

“These drip emitters for shrub and trees provide full or partial pressure compensation.

The Maltese Drip Emitters


The Overly-Creative-Writing Lady

It was a Wednesday, wet, like Somebody Up There opened these drip emitters on a cloud that had more water in it than a dame’s eyes after finding out the Spanish shawl she just shelled out a hundred clams for went on sale, 50% off, the very next day.

The dame in question?  One Lola Richardson, a looker with a torso that, well . . . let’s just say a torso that would never be mistaken for shrubs and trees. 

Suddenly there was a knock on Lola’s door — a knock she knew better than the back of her hand which wasn’t saying much as Lola had never bothered looking at the back of her hand.

Lola ran through her tastefully decorated living room like a babbling brook seeking the mighty Missisip — past the grand piano, past the baby grand piano, past the regular piano, past the portable piano keys, past the Fisher-Price Kick and Play Piano until she reached the front door.

But should she open the door and let that bum of an ex-husband of hers Mickey Richardson, aka Mickey the Grim Reaper, aka Mickey the Infectious, aka Mickey the Mouse — if indeed it was he who was knocking — in?

Lola laid one of her voluptuous ears against the door to provide full or partial auditory discernment of the fist from whom the knocking emanated — but she was still uncertain.

So Lola put her other ear against the door, the one that was not quite as voluptuous (more like plain bordering on homely) but could actually hear. She pressed it harder and harder against the door until the pressure compensation allowed for the air-waves to finally penetrate it.

Yup.  It was Mickey Richardson alright.  So Lola opened the door and shot him until he was as dead as it gets.

Then Lola threw her Spanish shawl over his lifeless body and wept bitterly.  If only she could have gotten it for 50% off.

Lola's Spanish ShawlAnd there you have it, Dear Readers.  A word of caution — The Overly-Creative-Writing Lady is here for the duration of the week so you might want to steer clear of this blog. 

Until next time, The Overly-Creative-Writing Lady loves you



17 thoughts on “The Overly-Creative-Writing Lady Tackles the Drip Irrigation Guidelines

  1. I wish all instruction manuals were written by the overly creative writing lady! I’d probably actually read and follow them! Maybe she could write an overly creative instructions for using the remote control next.

  2. I wish I were that overly creative. Perhaps if I had voluptuous ears my fate in life would have turned out differently. I just hope the Overly Creative Writing lady gets full or partial compensation for writing such a tight story.

  3. My god, the poor woman’s possessed, obviously, by the guild of Mystery Hacks, including, apparently a perfectly indiscreet mating (in the carnal sense) of both Mickey Spillane, and Raymond Chandler, sans condoms…. then, just when it gets to the climax (which, of course, it had to have, with all the innuendo lying around….), in comes Agatha Christie, who hands a convenient gun to the heroine/villain, thus giving away the murderer!…. Brilliant, if a bit oh, Benny Hillish?….. You know, silly, but not up to Python level… 😉

    I’ll be back to see more of this woman’s odd but entertaining takes on whatever…. overly creative, indeed…. Somebody tell you that at a party, dear? & this is your revenge?…. Just wondered….

    See ya…

    Blessed Be, sister….

    Ned, aka, gigoid, the dubious….


    • Ha! Oh you’ve got the overly creative writing lady figured perfectly Ned. I especially love that Agatha Christie handed OCWlady the gun. It’s just all so perfect that way! She’ll be back really soon — I hear she’s working on a film noir screenplay starring various characters that she’s cold cocked — tentively entitled Double Vision Indemnity.

  4. Excellent guidelines. One question however. I will need to know where to get one of those shawls as my gardener is dead as it gets.

  5. HA! It’s so annoying when gardeners do that . . . I hope he at least finished watering . . . if you hurry you can get one at the Overly Creative Writer Lady gift shop — 50% off while supplies last.

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