Begin at the beginning and end at the end
But then again supposin’ that road has a bend?
Then begin at the right and work your way left
Or come up the middle (if the road’s got a cleft)
Or begin at the end and work your way backwards
Or schlep up the shoulder all sloppy and slackwards
Or begin at the right and go in a square
Taking plenty of breaks to sit in the chair
You took from that idiot right over there →
But whatever you do, avoid like the plague
A man with an eye patch who answers to Craig
And a lady named Bertha who’ll be eating a lime
(Expressly for reasons pertaining to rhyme)
Now take a deep breath and start on your journey
And if you get tired? Remember the gurney . . .
That grandmother willed you (the one from Poughkeepsie)
That you pawned for some money to hire a gypsy
Who foretold of everything here you just read
(Including the part where your Grandmother’s dead)
Linda Vernon Humor 
Your semi-epic (were you inspired by Semi-Calliope ?) reminded me of the Robert Frost poem, “The Rhyme Not Taken”. Your poem has fewer trees, but more chairs (one) than his. [I was going to write a comment in rhyme, but it’s TOOOO hard !] Keep up the wood gork. Oops. I think I just had a Spoonerism relapse. It happens tome simes.
LOL Nick! I love spoonerism relapses. They are really my favorite relapse. In fact, I love the whole concept of a relapse. I mean it’s so cool that we have a word that describes a situation wherein you’re going along just fine and then suddenly you’re not going along just fine but then you’re going along just fine again and then you suddenly don’t go along just fine. These are the kinds of thoughts that make me glad to be alive.
That certainly clears that up for me. I just have one more question – is the first time you do it a lapse ? And if you (ok, ok, if I) go often to a “gentlemen’s club”, would I get relapse dances ?
And I’m glad that you’re glad to be alive. And fine. And then refine. Then fine-again. And his rainbow. Where wasn’t I ?
I wish I knew what we were talking about. I have a feeling it’s a fascinating conversation!
Are these not all reasons just to get a dog?
I love you Trenton Babbage Enterprises!
And I love you too Linda Vernon
With bells on
These days I often find myself starting at the end and working my way to the beginning…. I think it comes with age ….. Diane
I’ve heard of stealing candy from a rotten-toothed baby, but stealing an idiot’s chair is a more foul and fiendish affair– something Al Gore would do, that greasy-obesey OnYums-breathed monster!! Eating a lime for reasons pertaining to rhyme– woof!! That’s really sacrificing oneself for highbrow literature. Lucky Grandma– she done got the coolest, hippest, pagan-y funeral shroud around!! I wanna be buried in one just like it!! Outstanding work, my dear Linda, you wonderfully disturbed versifier, you!! 👍🏆😊