A Poem to Make You Think

Begin at the beginning and end at the end

But then again supposin’ that road has a bend?


Then begin at the right and work your way left

Or come up the middle (if the road’s got a cleft)


Or begin at the end and work your way backwards

Or schlep up the shoulder all sloppy and slackwards


Or begin at the right and go in a square

Taking plenty of breaks to sit in the chairimg144



You took from that idiot right over there →


But whatever you do, avoid like the plague

A man with an eye patch who answers to Craig


And a lady named Bertha who’ll be eating a lime

(Expressly for reasons pertaining to rhyme)


Now take a deep breath and start on your journey

And if you get tired? Remember the gurney . . . 


That grandmother willed you (the one from Poughkeepsie)

That you pawned for some money to hire a gypsy


Who foretold of everything here you just read 

(Including the part where your Grandmother’s dead)grandma cartoon







9 thoughts on “A Poem to Make You Think

  1. Your semi-epic (were you inspired by Semi-Calliope ?) reminded me of the Robert Frost poem, “The Rhyme Not Taken”. Your poem has fewer trees, but more chairs (one) than his. [I was going to write a comment in rhyme, but it’s TOOOO hard !] Keep up the wood gork. Oops. I think I just had a Spoonerism relapse. It happens tome simes.

    • LOL Nick! I love spoonerism relapses. They are really my favorite relapse. In fact, I love the whole concept of a relapse. I mean it’s so cool that we have a word that describes a situation wherein you’re going along just fine and then suddenly you’re not going along just fine but then you’re going along just fine again and then you suddenly don’t go along just fine. These are the kinds of thoughts that make me glad to be alive.

      • That certainly clears that up for me. I just have one more question – is the first time you do it a lapse ? And if you (ok, ok, if I) go often to a “gentlemen’s club”, would I get relapse dances ?
        And I’m glad that you’re glad to be alive. And fine. And then refine. Then fine-again. And his rainbow. Where wasn’t I ?

  2. I’ve heard of stealing candy from a rotten-toothed baby, but stealing an idiot’s chair is a more foul and fiendish affair– something Al Gore would do, that greasy-obesey OnYums-breathed monster!! Eating a lime for reasons pertaining to rhyme– woof!! That’s really sacrificing oneself for highbrow literature. Lucky Grandma– she done got the coolest, hippest, pagan-y funeral shroud around!! I wanna be buried in one just like it!! Outstanding work, my dear Linda, you wonderfully disturbed versifier, you!! 👍🏆😊

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