That bad elbow has been officially diagnosed as Sugar Cookie tendonitis but you don’t care, you’re never giving up your sport.
“Yeah but, Doc, I can’t stop eating Christmas cookies now, the Olympics are coming up!”
If your house caught on fire you would be torn between either rescuing your spouse or his fudge rum balls.
“Sorry Ma’am. The only thing we were able to save of your husband was his fudge rum balls.” “Yahoooo! No wait . . . I mean darn the luck.”
While you love the puppy you got for Christmas you’re convinced you’d love him even better if he was covered in chocolate and had a chewy nugget center.
“Oh! Him so potentially dewishious!”
You’re faking a limp just so you can justify carrying around that humongous candy cane.
“No! I’ll be okay! Just get me my humongous candy cane!”
You’ve started referring to your troubles as your truffles.
“Nobody knows the truffles I’ve seen . . .”
You lied and told your children all their gingerbread men had been abducted by aliens so that they could conduct eating experiments even though it was really you conducting the eating experiments.
“You mean to tell me, Earth Lady, you actually ate all your children’s gingerbread men?” ” Please! Stop! Can’t you see I hate myself enough already?”
And the final way to tell if you’ve become addicted to Christmas treats?
You resorted to eating some old-fashioned Christmas Candy that you found painted to the bathroom shelf of your grandmother’s house and were so ashamed you checked yourself into Christmas Treat rehab.
Question: Does Christmas Treat Addiction get any uglier than this? Answer: No.
And there you have it, Dear Readers, how to tell if you’ve become addicted to Christmas Treats.
Welcome Dear Readers. I’ve recently taken up crocheting. I don’t know what I’m making as yet — so far it’s just a big strip of crocheted yarn that’s getting fatter and fatter. And I’m really enjoying it —but what is one to do with a big, oversized chunk of crocheted yarn?
Well, maybe this 1984 edition of Annie’s Pattern Club Magazine that I found at the thrift store can give us some crocheting ideas:
Don’t you just love it already? Let’s open it up and see what great crocheting and knitting projects Annie has for us, shall we?
Just when you thought your toilet couldn’t get any more beautiful!
What better way to crochet away the blues!
Leave it to Annie to flush out this fabulous crocheting project through the process of elimination! After crocheting a cozy for every single thing in her bathroom, nothing was left cozy-less but the toilet and a bottle of Pepto Bismal (instructions for a Pepto Bismal bottle cozy were probably in the next edition).
I think you’ll have to agree there’s nothing quite as uplifting as lifting up the lid of your toilet and finding a fresh-as-daisy Daisy that you lovingly crafted all by yourself!
Hey! Here’s a little crocheting project sure to get any little boy singing your praises:
Oh yeah? Who says crocheting isn’t cool?
Of course, we all know there’s nothing little boys of a certain age love to do more than flip up their collars, pick up a crocheted microphone and crone crone crone to their heart’s content — providing they didn’t leave said heart in San Francisco, that is!
Let’s face it, there isn’t a little boy on earth who, upon receiving a crocheted microphone for his birthday wouldn’t tear up! Just before kicking you in the shins and running away from home, but still!
Crochet your way to total enlightenment!
“Come on! You know you’ve always wanted a crocheted lamp, admit it!
It’s a crying shame that it took someone until the year 1984 to come up with the idea of crocheting a lamp when Thomas Edison invented the electrical light way back in 1879! And you have to ask yourself why? Why were the crocheters of the past so out of sync with the creation and evolution of electricity?
Was it because crocheters didn’t have electric lamps or was it be because Thomas Edison didn’t know how to crochet? Chances are, unless the science channel really gets hard up for programming, we’ll never know the answer to these questions and a lot of other stupid questions. Either way, please try not to let it ruin your weekend!
And there you have it Dear Readers! It seems the possibilities are endless when it comes to crocheting. Who knew? If you need me I’ll be on the couch, crocheting and crocheting and crocheting. I’m thinking of turning my project into a cozy for the moon. Too ambitious? Let me know in the comments.
