When someone asks you your age, you respond by stomping one foot the appropriate number of times.

Instead of using a mirror, you’ve taken to applying your makeup in the reflection of your horse’s eye.

You think the best thing anybody could ever do is bale on you!

You often miss work due to coming up lame.

Sometimes you secretly want to bite your hairdresser when she’s brushing your hair.

All your shopping trips are reduced to the same question: Where can I find the carrots?

You’ve taken to nailing your shoes on too!

The term branding has taken on a whole new meaning (and it’s something you’re seriously considering).

You want with all your heart for two plus two to equus four.

If startled; you’ve been known to start a stampede.

And finally:

You’re thinking about changing your business cards from entrepreneur to entremanure.

Until next time . . . I love you