Linda’s 33 Easy Steps to Writing a Killer Blog Post
1. Pour one cup coffee
2. Sit down to computer.
3. Sip coffee.
4. Spit coffee back into cup; return to kitchen
5. Discover coffee maker broken.
6. Locate someone to blame, if possible.
7. Return to computer
8. Stare at tree out window
9. If no tree out window, take trip to nearest garden supply store
10. Purchase sapling, return home, plant sapling outside window.
11. Resume staring out window into space tree will occupy in three to five years
12. Return to kitchen for danish
13. If no danish available, graham cracker may be substituted.
14. If no graham cracker available, soda crackers or Ritz cracker can be voted upon.
15. If no voters are present, a blindfold may be used to cover eyes
16. Cover eyes; pick box.
17. Remove blindfold
18. Discover you picked soda crackers
19. Realize you wanted Ritz Crackers
20. Put blindfold back on.
21. Pick one
22. Repeat until box of Ritz Crackers is chosen
23. Return to desk
24. Eat entire box of Ritz Crackers
25. Locate can of air to blow Ritz Cracker crumbs off keyboard and face
26. Spin clockwise in desk chair
27. Spin counter-clockwise in desk chair
28. Take trip to nearest drug store
29. Purchase Pepto Bismal
30. Return home; take Pepto Bismal
31. Lie down on couch
32. Fall asleep; wake up; return to computer
33. Reblog post from yesterday
And there you have it Dear Readers, Linda’s 33 easy steps to writing a killer blog post!
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
OMG!!!! Bahaha!!!!! When I got to steps 18 and 19 I couldn’t stop laughing!!! Then the spinning chair, both counter clockwise and clockwise and the can of air to blow cracker crumbs from keyboard and face… Seriously, this is some dang good stuff, Linda. And now that you’ve revealed your secrets for writing your killer blogs, I’m afraid everyone will copy these easy to follow steps! Oh well, it was for the good of the community. You couldn’t keep these tips a secret for much longer.
Hahaha! Well, Lisa, I guess I’m just a humanitarian what can I say. I’m so very glad you liked my little tips. HA! Now it’s just a matter of stocking up on Ritz Crackers, some cans of air and a nice swivel chair you are good to go! Oh yeah the blindfold too . . . hey wait a minute. . . .maybe I could put together a kit and sell it on my blog! I’ll be rich . . RICH!!
How funny! I follow these exact same steps when I do any task at work! It only takes me 33 hours. Now I am in the mood for Ritz crackers. I better get my blindfold.
ahahahaha! No wonder you’re being slowly fired! 😀
Linda why are you so funny? My mom actually called me on the phone and she was like, “Go read Linda’s post, it’s so funny!” hahah
Soda crackers are so grody. Ritz crackers are wayy better. But obviously a danish is top choice.
She called you!! OMG! And you live in another country! That’s the best thing I’ve ever hear Lily! Your Mom. I just love her!! Oh and I had forgotten all about that wonderful word “grody” You are a child prodigy, Lils and your new picture is making me laugh. (You still look really cute in it though) 😀
Thank you for referring to me as a child prodigy! I’d so much rather be a child than a woman. Haha thank you for liking my picture too! No on responded on it yet! You’re the best, Linda!
hahaha! Lily. I can’t believe no one responded to your new cool picture. They’re probably just jealous of your child prodigy-ness!! 😀
Hahah I’m so child-like…!
hahahaha have you been stalking me? Because this is 90% of my writing routine. I’ll be looking for you by the trees as I stare out my window writing this comment.
Haha! I’ll be the one with the Ritz Crackers on my face!! 😀
This sounds remarkably similar to my creative process, minus the head-banging and the peanut butter on the crackers.
Oh good! Then it isn’t just me. Haha! 😀
That sounds like how I approach most things in life. 🙂
Well, that’s good to know because everything you make always seems turns out really well! 😀
Wait – I’m supposed to have a plan when I blog?!?
Wondering if this shouldn’t have been titled “Thirty three ways Guap can hurt himself while blogging”…
My mind is racing just thinking of all the ways Guap can hurt himself while blogging . . . Oh you have blog about that now!! Or at least give us a poll!
I’m not sure I agree with your techniques, since ice cream is not involved!
Hahaha!! Step 34: Eat several large bowls of Strawberry Ice Cream!! mmmm
I love the perseverance! I do not think I have it in me. :-))
Haha! For me it’s less like perseverance than simply moving forward through time! ;D
bawahahaha! for me if i can’t think of anything to post then i wait until it comes to me, then sit at the computer and post, it saves a lot of money on crackers,danishes, pepto bismol, garden crap, gas and time…lol
So you simply stay seated at your computer until an idea comes to you eh . . . I admire your worth ethic Bucky! LOL!
lol no i just go about my day until my heart tells me what to blog about next…lol
Now that’s the way to do it! I try to blog first thing in the morning or the day gets away from me! 😀
if i blogged in the mornings, then i would be doing what you do…LOL
Have you been watching me write posts, Linda? LOL! So funny!
Haha Dianne! Who knew we had so much in common! 😀
Reblogged this on The Ranting Papizilla and commented:
Oh if you only knew how many times I have followed this list damn near word for word. Well, picturing the quality of my blog, I am sure you know just how many times I do this, *Silence! From the peanut gallery!* 😀
Funniest post I have seen today.You should be a comedian.Happy New Year
Ah! Yay! But I think I’m more cutout to be a sit down comedian, Lexi! Ha! 😀
So that’s how you do it? I miss a few steps on a regular basis but you can bet your butt I am going to give it a go with all 33 steps. thanks for the tips 😉 …lol… I love it !
So glad you liked my writing ritual Lizzie! I am so amazed at how much you accomplish everyday with your writing with so many little rug rats under foot! You’re are amazing! 😀
LOLOL! Love it! Especially the reblog part. hahaha
Ha ha! Yes. There just comes a certain point in the process when you know nothing is ever going to happen and you just have to accept it! 😀
I think I went wrong when I introduced alcohol into my blogging plan.
Where was your advice when I really needed it? 🙂
I think I went wrong when I forgot to introduce alcohol into my blogging plan! What was I thinking?
So that’s how you do it….Thank you soooo much…Diane
Haha! You’re very welcome Diane! 😀
Let’s see… you blog every day, so that’s 365 saplings a year, and… hmm! Are you sure this isn’t part of some plot cooked up by 37 so he doesn’t have any lawn to mow??
You done outdone yerself on this one, and that sapling business durn near kilt me!! : )
Wait a minute! I think 37 has just pulled the wool over my eyes! You’re right. I should have suspected as much when I saw him selling the lawnmower to a passer-by who was there to admire the forest. Oh if only it were a sustainable Pottery Barn forest, Mark, I’d fee so much better about it! HA!