Flipping Through a 1967 TV Guide

Welcome Dear Readers!  News Flash!  There’s something very strange happening in California.  Now don’t panic, but when I got up this morning instead of the sky being its usual blue, it seems to have turned a murky, purgatory gray overnight!  What could it mean?

I don’t know if it’s the end of the world, Dear Readers, but just to be on the safe side we’d better eat our dessert first today.

In the meantime, let’s flip through this old TV guide from 1967, shall we?

1967 TV Guide
Isn’t it wonderful?

Remember Jack Cassidy?  He was a pretty well-known actor.  He guest starred on lots of TV shows in the 60’s and 70’s .  He is also the father of David Cassidy and was married to Shirley Jones aka Mrs. Partridge.  Jack Cassidy was tragically killed  in a fire.  Poor Jack Cassidy.

Paula Prentiss and Richard Benjamin were a married couple who starred in all kinds of things.

Here’s a clip I really love of  Paul Prentiss and Peter O’Toole from the movie, What’s New Pussy Cat:

Richard Benjamin went on Johnny Carson once and told about how his wife, Paula, didn’t wash the pots and pans very thoroughly, and that he always had to rewash them after she went to bed.  For some reason, Johnny Carson thought that was the most hilarious thing he had ever heard.

Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss
Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss are still alive and still together. Apparently having to rewash pots and pans is not only good for your marriage, it’s good for your health.

 Here’s a 1967 ad for 7-up:

a 1967 ad for 7-up
Back  when 7up was cool.

I remember 7up’s theme song during this time went like this:  “Wet and wild, 7up is wet and wild.  First against thirst, first to satisfy you — so wet and wild and cool! “

Well I thought it was pretty cool too.  I even went to the trouble of picking out that  song  on the piano when I was a sophomore in high school.  We had an  orange piano that was down in the basement that had come with the house (both the basement and the piano).

It seems like 7up has never been as cool since. Now it’s just something you drink when  you’re feeling sick to your stomach.

Hey Look!  Talk about the perfect name for a rock band!

Warts and corns of 1967

Unlike 7up, warts and corns were never cool, not even back in 1967 — though Two Corns and a Wart would have made a great name for a rock band.

As you can see from the ad, apparently warts and corns were much more cruel in the 60’s than they are today.    Of course, the remedies available to help with wart/corn cruelty never completely cured the problem because why should any company purposely put itself out of the lucrative corn/wart removal industry?

Remember him?

1967 TV Guide Richard Basehart Ad

Richard Basehart was an actor who starred in Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and who sometimes wore his pants like Fred Mertz.  He and his crew bombed around underwater in their submarine having underwater adventures left and right.

I remember really liking that show, though now the only  thing I remember about it was the pinging of the submarine noise they played every ten seconds lest you forget they were underwater on a submarine!

A ping that sounded not unlike this one:

Caution:  Do not listen to this if you hate submarine pinging!   (But it’s not really all that bad, Dear Readers, I just wanted an excuse to use a different colored font.)

And finally, there’s this:

gmi855

What’s this?  Dr. Alfred Kidder has been inhabiting the North American continent for more than 15,000 years?  And I’ve never even run into him once! Could  Dr. Kidder might be pulling our legs?

Well, Dear Reader, this concludes our 1967 TV-guide-flipping session for today.  And it looks like the sky’s still a murky gray.  So I think it best if we get started eating  dessert, just to be on the safe side in case the world’s coming to an end.

Until next time (if there is one) . . . I love you

Sunday School Dropout Bible Stories: The Story of Noah

“Think we’ll all fit?”
“I don’t know, I was asking around and the Unicorns don’t seem to think so.”

A very, very, very, very long time ago (biblical scholars disagree on the exact amount of  verys) there was a man named Noah who was very ,very, very old (here three verys is widely accepted).

Back in the day when Noah lived, lifespans were much longer — and nobody fell and couldn’t get up until they were well past 500 years old.

When Noah was 500 years old, he had three sons which meant he was raising teens when he was 513 years old — proving that wisdom doesn’t always come with age. (His sons were named Shem, Ham and Japheth which ALL biblical scholars agree were horrible names.)

During these years, the people of earth were basically running hog wild, some people were giants, some people were supernatural beings and some people were goats. The whole kit and kaboodle was  just one big, fat, ugly mess.  You don’t even want to know the details! Whenever God looked down on the earth, He just felt sick, so He decided to cause a great flood and start again from scratch.

But God really liked Noah because Noah was well-mannered, and agreeable and laughed at all his jokes.

God told Noah what his plans were.

God:  Hello Noah?  It’s me, God, say, I was just thinking I would destroy everybody on earth because they are all so evil, you know what I mean?

Noah:  Oh absolutely! Definitely! I don’t blame you one bit! Ha ha!

God:  Yes, well, I’ve decided to let you live.

Noah:  Who moi?  Aw shucks, thanks God!

God:  Not a problem. Anyway, you need to build an ark 450 feet long and 75 feet wide and 45 feet high leaving 18 inches between the roof and the . . . are you writing this down?

Noah:  No

God:  Ok, I’ll wait while you go find a pencil.

While God was waiting on Noah, he couldn’t help looking around.  Golden idols and empty wine jugs were strewn everywhere, the lute and harp music was blaring so loud God couldn’t hear Himself think, and everyone was shouting, “gimme! gimme! gimme!” at the top of their lungs;  plus there was a lot of pushing and shoving and strangling going on.

God was happy when Noah finally came back with his pencil.

Later:

God:  Okay, Noah, let’s summarize.  I’ve given you specific, detailed instructions for you to build an ark, AND put two of every animal aboard. So read back what you’ve got.

Noah:  Oh sure!  Absolutely!  Let’s see here . . . you want me to build a boat-

God:  NO! Not a boat!  An Ark!  I want you to build an ARK !

Noah:  Ok, Ok, I’m erasing!  Let’s see . . . and you want me to put three of every kind of animal on board and–

God:  Not THREE!  TWO you idiot!

Noah:  OK, OK, I’m erasing already! . . .two. . .  you . . .  idiot— is there one or two t’s in idiot?

Oy! thought God.

Epilogue

After the flood dried up, and Noah got off the ark, the first thing he did was plant a vineyard.  Then he made some wine, got swacked, got naked, staggered to his tent and passed out.

The bible fails to mention what God thought of this.  Most scholars think it was OY!

“Noah! Are you just going to leave us here?”
“Was it something we said?”
“Has anybody seen my golden idol?”
“Moooooooo?”

Until next time . . . I love you