In Praise of Dwell Magazine

Dwell Magazine satire, Linda Vernon Humor

Dear Dwell Magazine Editorial Staff,

Over the past couple of years, my wife, Victoria Splendoria, and myself, P. Donald Xavier, have become avid Dwell Magazine readers.   Not only do we totally approve of  the urban-contemporaneity; but also, we just go gaga over the pictures.

I have attached a  photograph of Victoria Splendoria, and myself, P. Donald Xavier, and our adorable baby, Tylenol Cold and Sinus®, relaxing in our Dwell Magazine inspired contemporary home environment.

family living minimalistically
“Honey where’s that can of Cream of Mushroom soup?”
“I threw it away!”
“But why?”
 Because we’re minimalists, Victoria Splendoria, minimalists! That can of soup was cluttering up the cupboards!”
“But I’m hungry! And so is Tylenol Cold and Sinus® !”
“Oh for goshsakes!   Quit your bellyaching and come and  enjoy the minimalism with me and little Tylenol Cold and Sinus®!

Victoria Splendoria and myself, P. Donald Xavier, just love to sit outside the printing press where Dwell magazine is published every month so that we can be the first ones to get our copy hot off the presses! And we just can’t wait to return to our minimal living room to curl up and enjoy each and every issue with our imaginary espresso.

Victoria Splendoria and myself, P. Donald Xarvier often fight over who gets the cement slab and who gets the wire stool to sit on while we take turns thumbing through the minimalism.
Victoria Splendoria and myself, P. Donald Xarvier, often fight over who gets the cement slab and who gets the wire stool, while we take turns thumbing through Dwell Magazine. It’s so funny!  You should see us.  Sometimes we even laugh, not out loud, of course, but in our minds!

We’ve recently re-designed our bathroom more in keeping with the  minimalistic lifestyle as dictated within the pages of Dwell Magazine.  I think you’ll love what we’ve done.  Here’s a picture:

Linda Vernon Humor satire dwell magazine
“Honey, where are the towels?”
“I threw them away!”
“But why?”
“Because they were taking up too much space.”
“Honey?”
“What?”
“Where’s the toilet.”
“I threw it away.”
“Why?”
“It was cluttering up the bathroom and ruining the minimalism.  Just go to the gas station.”

Anyway, Victoria Splendoria, and myself, P. Donald Xaxier and our adorable baby, Tylenol Cold and Sinus®, would like to thank, you, the editors of Dwell Magazine, from the bottom our hearts for teaching us that throwing away everything we own, sitting on hard surfaces and staring into space is the secret to making it feel as though maybe we are living a long and happy life!

Ambitiously, resourcefully and counter-conventional-edgily yours,

P. Donald Xavier, Victoria Splendoria and adorable Tylenol Cold and Sinus®

* * *

Until next time  . . . I love you