Welcome Dear Readers! I woke up in the middle of the night and was writing my blog in my head. The only line I can remember now went something like:
Daddy is a Friggin’ Genius and Mama Ain’t no Slouch
Of course, at 3 am in the dark this phrase seemed a lot funnier.
Peanuts thought it was hilarious. (Peanuts being my brain’s nickname for itself). I must admit that Peanuts is usually funnier when asleep. Here’s another line Peanuts came up with while sleeping:
Goats on the Skids
I thought maybe I could make this the title of a novel about a group of fun-loving goats who had fallen on hard economic times. I plan to run it by Peanuts next time I’m asleep.
I remember once reading about how you can program your subconscious mind to solve problems for you if you pose a question for it just before drifting off. So one night I asked Peanuts if it would be kind enough to think of a way I could make a million dollars. I fell asleep and dreamed about a new invention:
The underwater bicycle
Which proves two things:
1) You really can program you’re subconscious mind
2) to come up with a lot of stupid ideas.
Of course, my family is never ever ever going to quit teasing me about The Underwater Bicycle idea. Fine. It’s well worth the ribbing if it will keep them occupied and off the streets for another day.
I also hold the family record for making the lamest joke in the history of the Vernon Family. We were driving on a steep, winding road near Yosemite and we met a couple of gray-haired guys in a Model A going the other way. So I quipped: “Hope your brakes hold there, Joe.” OK, maybe it wasn’t a quip as such, but hey — at least I tried.
Somebody had to say something for heaven sakes! Can I help it if Peanuts hadn’t thought up “Goats on the Skids” yet?
Until next time . . . I love you