I, Platypus


Welcome Dear Readers to this week’s edition of Gregory’s Bible Stories. Today Gregory learned about when God had Adam name all the animals.

Let’s listen in as Gregory tells us how it all happened.

gregoryI, Platypus

It was the very first Tuesday right after God had created Adam but just before He created Eve. God took some soil from the ground and formed all the animals and all the birds. Then He showed them to Adam.

Adam:  What’s all this?

God:  I just created all these animals and all these birds. Now I’d like you to think of names for each of them.

Adam:  But there’s so many!

God:  Yup, 1,589,361 to be exact.

Adam:  Okay let me get this straight.  You want me to cultivate the Garden of Eden and guard it plus think up 1,589,361 different animal names for all these animals you created? Not only am I only human, God, don’t forget I am the only human!

God:  LOL

Adam:  What does that mean?

God:  It’s an acronym that means laughing out loud.

Adam:  What’s laughing?

God:  Laughing. That’s  hard to explain.  Well here . . .take a look at this animal, it pretty much sums up my sense of humor.

God has a platypus on a leash and hands the leash to Adam.

Adam:  Awesome!  Fur, a bill, webbed feet!

God:  Yeah it’s venomous too which most people don’t know.

Adam:   Most people?

God:  Sorry, I got ahead of myself.  So what would you like to name it, Adam?

Adam:  How about a glerk or a floob?

God: Meh . . .

Adam:    Oh I know!  How about a  tittlefuzzwamper!

God:  Okay I like the direction you’re going in now.

Adam:  Octopus?

God: You’re getting warmer.

Adam:  Snickerdoodle . . .

God:  Keep thinkin’

Adam:  A platypus?

God:  Bingo! Good thinking Adam!

Adam:  This is fun!  What’s the next animal you want me to name?

God:  How about this one?  As you can see, it has two humps on it’s back.

Adam:  What are the humps for?

God:  Looks.

Adam: Okay then, how about a platypus?

God:  You already named the platypus the platypus.

Adam:  Oh yeah . . . well how about flatypus . . .  or . . . . oh I know . . . the  blatypus . . . oh wait . . . natypus!

God:  Sigh . . .

Adam:  What’s the matter, God?

God:  I was just thinking how long this is going to take.

Adam:  What are you complaining about?  You’re the one that’s eternal!  LOL!

God:  Adam! You made a joke!  There’s hope for you yet, young man. Now think of some more names.

Adam: Okay! How about a klatypus?

God: Keep trying.

Adam:  A blatypus then?

God:  No.

Adam:  A quatypus?

God:  Nope.

Adam:  Oh I know . . . platypus!  That’s a good name, platypus! Or did I already use that one already?  Hey what are you doing, God?

God:  Creating a chair . . .

And there you have it, Dear Readers, what Gregory learned in Sunday school this week.  Please check back next week to find out what happens when Adam finds out all the insects are going to need names too.

Until next time  . . . I love you

Too Many Platypi

10 thoughts on “I, Platypus

  1. Ah, that explains why Adam lived to be 930 years old – he had to wrap up that naming gig. That last 653 years must have started to get on his nerves (fortunately, he didn’t know he had nerves). God sure did have quite the sense of humor when He was young. He seems to have lost it after He began hardening so many hearts. I guess humans weren’t really evil enough for Him. Well, after the Flood, at any rate.

    • Poor Adam! Not only did he have to name all the animals. He had to learn how to date all on his own. Judging from the outcome, I think he could have used some help when it came to women… I mean woman. I have a feeling God got a big kick out of the whole Adam and Eve debacle. Old testament God was such a brat!

  2. I agree Linda the platypus is God’s joke on creation, I think he is still laughing…..but having seen them in the wild they are so graceful, in the water mainly and also very elusive. I used to see them of a morning on my walk to work and one day wanting to show off to some tourists I pointed out that they could see them and wouldn’t you know it, not a one appeared….needless to say the tourists went away thinking what idiot we obviously were…but believe me when i say the little fellas were back swimming around the next day…

    • You’ve seen them in the wild? WOW! Seeing a platypus in the wild makes you quite a rare breed, Michael. But not as rare as an actual platypus (sorry). Isn’t that the way it always is. Oh sure there’s a million platypuses when no one is around but the minute you want to show them off, poof! They disappear. LOL!

  3. Adam must have been a sissy. Glad Eve was there to save him.

    We are in San Diego, don’t like it or the people. Daves nieces and Bro inlaw are very nice to keep us up in their beautiful house. What a strange life they all have.

    I think it’s Sacto on the 14 or 15 for a couple days to visit Libby, then Lynne and Abby. Then WA.!!!!!!!!!!
    And I hope a job for Dave.

    I’ll keep in touch.

    Love,
    chris

    • Hi Chris,

      I’m so happy you are back up in the jPacific Northwest where you belong! Don’t ever leave again! LOL!

      Call me so I can get your new phone number when you get settled.

  4. Hmm… Y’know, milady, there’s hope for you yet…. *wink*

    Brilliant stuff. It seems the nature of platypus entered the comment section, though; unexpected depths and vistas around each corner.

    Personally, given the mathematical certainty that people, on the average, are getting less intelligent, I think you’ve nailed Adam’s true core persona, for he is just slightly smarter than our average joe on the street today… Perhaps that is all part of the joke….

    Or, could just be me. I thought it was hilarious, grinned all the way through. Nicely done.

    Having fun there in the hill country, I guess. No platypae, but, a red-tail or two, I bet.

    Be well, & happy.

    gigoid, the dubious

  5. Hi Ned,

    I am absolutely loving the hill country. It’s my kind of place! You never know what you are going to get. It’s like a Forest Gump box of chocolates! Thank you for coming by. It’s always fun getting your enlightened/dubious comments!

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