Welcome Dear Readers to this week’s edition of Gregory’s Bible Stories. Today Gregory learned about how it came about that Eve served Adam the fruit from The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
Let’s listen in as Gregory tells us how it all happened.
One day shortly after God created Adam and Eve and left them to their own devices in the Garden of Eden, Eve said to Adam:
“What’s the matter, honey? Is all the yard work getting you down again?”
“Well, the garden is a beautiful place and I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I would have been just as happy with a paradise that didn’t have such a big yard. All this tilling is aggravating my old rib-cage injury something awful. Can you get me an ice pack?”
“Are you trying to make me feel guilty again?”
“No honey. I’m just stating a fact. Part of me wishes God would have creatd the Condo of Eden instead of the Garden of Eden, that’s all.”
“Well, how about I cook you up your favorite dinner? That will cheer you up.”
“Goat Noodle Casserole?”
“That’s your favorite dinner? I thought it was goatloaf?”
“Listen honey, no offense but your goatloaf is a little dry. ”
“God liked it.”
“Did He tell you that?”
“No, I could just tell by the way his face lit up like a thousands suns when he ate it.”
“No offense, honey, but that’s pretty much His resting face.”
“Why are you being such a brat?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be. Tell you what. Why don’t you bake me a nice pie for dessert.”
“Okay! How about my famous Fig Leaf Pie?”
“Well, honey . . . uh . . . frankly, your Fig Leaf Pie is only famous because it’s so dry.”
“Did God tell you that?”
“Yes.”
“Well! That makes me not want to invite God over for dinner anymore.”
“Don’t be mad honey. You know what? I heard that a fruit called the apple makes a pretty good pie.”
“Who told you that?”
“I don’t remember exactly. I think it was one of those creeping things that creepeth upon the earth.”
“And it could talk?”
“Non-stop!”
“Okay, well you stay here and rest your side, Adam, and I’ll go out and have a talk with this creeping thing and see if it will show me where the apple tree is.”
“Uh . . Okay but seems to me it wasn’t called an apple tree though.”
“Oh really? What was it called?”
“The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.”
“That’s unnecessarily long. I’m just going to call it the apple tree. If you need me I’ll be out picking apples . . .”
“Okay honey. Have fun! Oh and before you go would you mind grabbing me an ice pack on your way out?”
“Yeah sure.”
“. . . and a Bud Light?”
“Yeah sure.”
And that concludes Gregory’s bible stories for this week, Dear Readers. Please check back next week for the further adventures of all the people in the bible.
Until next time . . . I love you
Eve’s Killer Apple Pie
8 apples from The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
1/2 bushel goat butter
I beehive honey
2/3 shekel cinnamon
Preheat flames to medium roar
Cook until sunset
Serves: 0 to 3 (depending on dryness)
What
Linda Vernon Humor 