It’s nice to be mature or so I’m told. Now that I am nearly old enough to collect Social Security (so I can finally be more secure socially), and now that I am a Grandmother, and now that AARP is positively drooling every time I walk by, well I’m pretty much hot stuff in the fast-paced world of Aging Boomerism.
That is why, Dear Readers, I am delighted to be nominated for an award so infantile, so juvenile, so puerile, so River Nile, that I couldn’t be more pleased if God, himself, had instructed Moses to part the Red Sea and let me hunt for sea shells for a full five minutes!
I am speaking of course of the most coveted and the most revered award to ever grace the Blogosphere:
For this nomination, I thankfully thank Lizzie Cracked (but not broken) over at Running Naked with Scissors who writes a wise, funny and a humongously creative blog about life with Bi-Polar, six kids and one grandson among a host of other eclectic always entertaining topics.
And now let us proceed to the Nomination Hoops through which one must jump when nominated for the Glitter E. Yaynus Award!
Name five things that would make people want to kill me:
Lagging at every greenlight for miles trying to find my lip gloss.
Eating the last Girl Scout Cookie (OK, make that eating all of the Girl Scout Cookies).
Meeting up with out-of-town guests, and forgetting my cell phone.
Talking during the most important part of everything.
Reading the time wrong on the airplane tickets.
Next: Name five things I would take to Uranus:
(OK, this isn’t the real version. In the real version, you are supposed to name five things you would stick up your ass, if forced. I’m doing the watered-down, old-lady, granny version because I wouldn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize my membership eligibility for AARP.) So here are the five things I would take to Uranus:
A copy of Pride and Prejudice because a little culture never hurt Uranus.
A herd of elephants because it’s rumored that Uranus is quite spacious.
Martha Stewart in case Uranus needs redecorating.
A pot of gold to place at the end of Uranus in case there’s no rainbows.
A fireworks factory because nothing spices up Uranus like firecrackers and sparklers!
Next: Run across a Freeway Blindfolded.
Only if the freeway is blindfolded too, let’s make it fair!
Next: Pick a Prom Court:
Ok, what happened here? Things were progressing so logically until the last two questions. I think the person who thought this up might have a touch of the ADD! Nevertheless. I will pick a prom court by passing the nomination on to the following bloggers who I think can really do this Prestigious Award justice and the nominees are:
Lauren’s Crazy Adventure (She’s got a new blog with a fresh perspective!)
Eldon (A comedy alchemist who turns mascara into black streaks!)
Clipsnark (She’s a funny clip art clipper!)
A Gripping Life (She’s breaking out of her rut in a good way!)
Morristownmemos (She reads Dr. Suess, you’ll like her!)
And please Prom Court/Glitter E Yaynes Nominees, please do not let the prestige of this award swell your ego –it might go to Uranus!
Until next time . . . I love you
Linda Vernon Humor 
Congratulations and well done, Linda!
The girl scout cookie thing? Yeah, that’s unconscionable. Unless I’m doing it.
And I though Martha Stewart came from Ur- never mind…
Ha ha! I can polish off an entire box in about 2 minutes flat. I doubt very much you can gobble that fast El Guapo. Chugging maybe . . . but not gobbling.
Martha Steward is from Ur . . . mind. She just a figment!
oh oh oh what kind? I have eaten 4 boxes all by myself this past week! samoas tag a longs trefoils and some other kind i just ate cause they are girl scout cookies. The kids got mad at me and I told them tough they were just pissed cause i did it before they could. 🙂 Love what ya did with this award – you ROCK!!
Martha Stewart doesn’t she come form Ur…lost your mind?
I think so! Yes I’m sure of it or would be if I had any idea what I was talking about!
Haha! That’s telling them Lizzie! I once ate 2 cases of candy bars my kids were supposed to be selling for soccer. It cost me $70! But it was worth every penny! 🙂
Linda, I’m speechless. No, seriously, what a tremendous honor! You’re caption on the Moses picture is too funny. It’s going to be hard to live up to your great answers. Lingering at the green light and talking through the important part of everything reminds me of our mutual friend, Mr. MaGoo. I’m just saying…
Thanks for this honor! I’ll do my best to make you proud.
I know you will! Love your blog and your perspective! 🙂
Martha Stewart would definitely have her work cut out for her on Uranus. Loved this post!
Ha ha! I just see it now. She’ll have Uranus whipped into shape in no time!
Your mind is toooo funny…..it must be hard controlling it (editing it, I mean…haha) Way to go, kid!
Ha! Thank you so much Tom! Peanuts does tend to get out of hand sometimes. 🙂
I enjoyed this so much, I don’t know where to start. I LEA your list of things you would take to Uranus. They’re all great, but the Elephants, what a grand idea. Surely a first. Martha would have a field day with them!!
So true! Martha would go crazy with a capital CRAZE! She could do a whole show on it!
Uranus is amazing! Great blog post too.
Thank you. Same to you!
Of all the honors I have ever received I cannot think of one that, uh one that, I mean, well it’s like this: thank you for nominating me. It’s the thought that counts, as Aunt Gertrude says when she bought me that ugly ceramic cookie jar (which I will Not fill with cookies when you’re in town!) with Keith Richard’s face decorating it.
I will bear this award with honor and pride.
Ronnie
Haha! I love your aunt Gertrude! I wonder if she bought the cookie jar because it had Keith Richard’s face on it or if she just thought it was a good-looking cookie jar in general! I only give out the classy award here Ronnie. Say, does aunt Gertrude have a blog? I could give her this award too! 🙂
Congrats Linda. You know something, I think you and Harry would go well together. You funny people 😆
What a nice compliment, Amor, thank you! 🙂
Linda:
http://rtewrite.wordpress.com/2012/02/08/every-piece-of-mail-you-send-me-goes-straight-to-the-trash/
HF
LOVED IT! I hope they read it. I doubt it though. I wrote this AARP jab not long ago:
https://lindavernon.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/more-aarp-or-old-people-burping/
You know, there are times when it’s best not to be recognized, as I said to the policeman after he arrested me… : (
Ha ha! YES!
Hello dear I just tagged you and you’re It!
Check it out here: http://allaboutlemon.com/2012/02/23/tag-and-i-am-it/
Have fun 🙂
Dolly xoxo
Ha ha! I forgot to yell NOT IT! Ok, this time Dolly, but I will get your back! Bwhahahaha! 🙂
Ok dear, thanks a lot! xoxo
I had to nominate you for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award since you do inspire me a lot by keeping me laughing. I appreciate that a lot, Linda. Of course, my site is at http://thomag2.wordpress.com Congratulations! tom
Tom! What a nice thing to do. Thank you so much Tom. I will go into the weekend with a happy heart! 🙂
How did I miss this? I just saw someone came to my page from this page and, of course, had to investigate. I’ll blame it on being a newbie! Well, an incredibly belated THANKS to you! 🙂