More 1967 Italy Food Recipes from Ruth Conrad Bateman

This 1967 recipe booklet features recipes by Italy Expert, Ruth Conrad Bateman.

Dear Readers. Back in 1967, the reigning queen when it came to Italy Food was this woman.

Ruth loves to cook Italy food but don’t bother Ruth when she is cooking Italy food or talking about cooking Italy food. Can’t you see she’s trying to concentrate?  Ruth is an expert on Italy food. Ruth looked Italy up in a World Atlas. Did you know Italy is shaped like a boot? Ha! Ruth Conrad Bateman didn’t think so.

Now this isn’t the first time this blog has fallen all over itself pointing out the Italy food cooking expertise of Ruth Conrad Bateman, but, obviously,  this blog just can’t get enough of Ruth Conrad Bateman! And who could?

Let’s look a little closer at Ruth’s deep understanding of a country you may or may not have heard of before called Italy.  Here is just a smattering of Ruth Conrad Bateman’s Italy food wisdom. Ruth says:

Good advice, Ruth Conrad Bateman.  So allow this blog to summarize Ruth’s wonderful advice, if it may be so bold:

  • When Italy people get sauced, they want more pasta than sauce, and they like their pasta dressed in butter and cheese.
  • When American people get sauced, they want more sauce than pasta and they don’t care what it’s wearing.

Next here’s Ruth Conrad Bateman’s explanation for how Italy people cook eggplant the Italy way like Italy people do.

Good advice again, Ruth Conrad Bateman! (How does she do it?)  So allow this blog to summarize Ruth’s wonderful advice for broiling  Italy Egg Plant, the Italy way, if it may be so bold:

  • Broil some eggplant

And finally, Ruth Conrad Bateman sets us straight about Italy Meat Sauce Bolognese:

Ruth Conrad Bateman says this Italy sauce is for cannelloni, spaghetti and other pasta. What other pasta?  Ruth Conrad Bateman says if she is granted an audience with the pope who actually lives in Italy and if he gives her a special dispensation to disclose the other pasta  . . then maybe she’ll tell us what it is but don’t  get your hopes up because Ruth Conrad Bateman is kind of a little brat especially about Italy stuff.

Ruth tells us that this recipe for Meat Sauce Bolognese is made of Italy Bologna in the town of Bologna which is the Eating Capital of Italy. This blog doesn’t even have to look at Ruth Bateman’s recipe for Meat Sauce Bolognese in order to summarize it:

  • Even though this Italy recipe is full of Italy balogna
  • It will never be as full of Italy balogna as the weird and wonderful Italy Food Expert Ruth Conrad Bateman!

Uh oh . . . is it this blog’s imagination or is Ruth Conrad Bateman giving us the  Italy evil eye?

Is this the Italy Evil Eye of Ruth Conrad Bateman?

Uh . . . this might be a good time to bid you Salve! Dear Readers — which is Italy talk for “bye”.

Now  . . slowly . . . very slowly . . . let’s just . . . back out . . .  of . . . the . . . . room . . . shh . . .

Until next time . . . I love you.

Guess Who Won the Second 2012 Presidential Debates

The Second 2012 Presidential Debates

Hello everyone, my name is Candy Crawley and I will be the moderator for tonight’s second Presidential debate.

“Gentlemen, my first question is for President Obama.  What number is the loneliest number?”

“As the president of the United States for the last four years, Candy, I can definitely say that the loneliest would be the Number One!”

Okay thank you.  Now Mr. Romney it’s your turn.  What number would you say is the loneliest number?

“I’ve been saying all along ever since I was the boss of the whole Olympics in Utah that the loneliest number is the Number One, Candy!”

“Now wait just a minute, Candy, my opponent, Governor Romney says the loneliest number is the Number One , Candy, but lookee!  He’s holding up three fingers, Candy!  Lookee! Lookee!”

“Now just a doggone minute there!  I stated the loneliest number was Number One even before I even walked out on stage even, Candy!”

“I’m sorry, Governor Romney, I just gotta wipe off that jam, it’s really buggin’ me.”

Okay, Gentlemen, I’m afraid that’s all the time I can give you on jam gentlemen. We must move on.

“But Candy!  I didn’t get to say how I got jam on my suit!”

I’m sorry we must move on! I’ve got a question from one of the 82 uncommitted voters . . .  yes what is your question, sir?”

“Hello.  My name is Al Gore.  I would like to know if either of the can-di-dates know of any stores close by that sell Funyuns?”

“Mr. Gore that is not a question that we are going to waste time on this evening.  If you were hungry for Funyuns, you should have purchased a bag of them before you came to the debate tonight like I did!”

“Now don’t be so hasty, Candy.  As President of the United States, it just so happens I brought a bag of Funyuns with me to the debates tonight, and  Al Gore can have my bag of Funyuns! After all, Al Gore invented the internet, Candy!”

“Now wait t just a doggone minute, Candy!  I brought a bag of Funyuns too AND a jar of Olympic Commemorative Jam — all the way from Utah.   Al Gore can have my bag of Funyuns AND my jar of  jam!  It’s the least I can do for a guy who invented the internet.  I insist!”

“Well, America, I think we know who’s going home the clear winner tonight, and that is Mr. Global Warming and Internet Inventor, himself, Al Gore!  So what do you have to say about that Al?

“The future will be better tomorrow.”

I think that says it all America, don’t you?  I’m Candy Crawley and thank you for watching.  

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

The 1934 Flood of 1934

Hello Dear Readers!  I’ve been shopping my little heart out at the thrift store, and I simply couldn’t believe my luck when I stumbled across this fascinating 1934 Department of Agriculture, Bulletin 1731 about everybody’s favorite grain, Alfalfa! 

First of all, let me begin by saying that this precious bulletin has sustained serious water damage.  Meaning only one thing.  It was in the 1934 Flood of 1934.

By carefully perusing the pages, I was able to ascertain that the owners of  Bulletin 1731 were United States farmers, Ma and Pa Ludd and their little boy, Sheldon and, from what I can tell, they were lucky to escape the 1934 Flood of 1934 with nothing but the shirts on their backs, the pants on their legs and the hairs on their arms.

And yet, somehow this courageous family managed to float through the house and, by kicking their feet at precisely the right coordinates, managed to  rescue their most prized possession, Bulletin 1731.

This was not without a little bit of harm done to Ma Ludd.  Shortly thereafter , her heart started acting up again and Pa had to take her to the doctor in Dusty City.  Pa Ludd waited in the waiting room while Ma Ludd went in to have her heart checked out by Dr. Olcreepee.

“Doctor you’ve been listening now for an hour and a half? Is it still ticking?”
“I think it’s still ticking, but let me just double check again.”

Anyway from what I could glean from reading between the lines of Bulletin 1731, Dr. Olcreepee decided to do some X-rays so he could get a better handle on the situation with Ma.

“What does that look like to you, Nurse?’
“Bulletin 1731?”

It seems Ma had inadvertently swallowed Bulletin 1731 in the confusion of the 1934 Flood of 1934.  And of course, Dr. Olcreepee had no choice but to operate on Ma to removed Bulletin 1731 once and for all.

Shortly thereafter Ma Ludd and Bulletin 1731 were wheeled into the operating room but the only thing that was wheeled out —  still in tact — was Bulletin 1731.  It seems Ma had kicked the bucket as they liked to say in those days.

I know it’s a sad tale but there is some indication that Pa Ludd and Sheldon did get some money from the  “death by swallowing government bulletins” insurance policy that Pa Ludd had the wherewithal to take out on his entire family.

And they all went on to lead long and  happy lives.  Except for Ma who continued being dead.

And there you have it, Dear Reader, a glimpse into the rich history of Bulletin 1731 and the 1934 Flood of 1934.

Be sure and check back tomorrow when we will turn to the first page of Bulletin 1731 and read all about everybody’s favorite grain, alfalfa!

Until next time . . . I love you

Trifecta 33-word Fable Writing Challenge: Dinner at the Fable Buffet

Hello Dear Readers!  This weekend’s Trifecta Writing Challenge was to write a fable in 33 words!  They certainly keep us on our toes over there at the challenge! So here goes:

Dinner at the Fable Buffet

A cat and a parakeet were dining on pie when the cat remarked that he really should be eating the parakeet to which the parakeet replied, “Shut up and eat your Puddy Tat pie.”

Until next time . . . I love you

Trifecta Writing Challenge: The Life and Times of Spinkz Mccoy

Here’s what the Trifecta Writing Challenge  was for this weekend:

For this weekend, we want to play on an oft-noted literary concept: that of the opening line of a book (also known as an incipit, if you’re fancy).  A great first line can reel in the audience, set the pace for the entire piece, and make for an enjoyable read right off the bat.  Conversely, a weak opening can lose readers before the characters even have a chance.  There are lots of great sites and books dealing with the idea of the incipit.  Here’s just one.

So here’s the beginning sentence to my imaginary novel:

The Life and Times of Spinkz Mccoy

Spinkz Mccoy

Used car salesman Spinkz Mccoy figured the key to his success was due to the fact that he was as honest as the day is long on the shortest day of the year.

And there you have it, Dear Reader! This challenge was a lot of fun — I highly recommend it!