Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers: I’d Rather Be Parallel Universing

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers to Friday Fictioneers located at the corner of Fiction Street and Ears Avenue.

Friday Fictioneers is a 100-word story writing challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at Addicted to Purple where challengers write a 100-word story about the picture that Rochelle posts every Wednesday.

And this week’s story prompt picture is:  buddy-uddy-uddy-uddy (← drum roll)

Viola!

the-boat-and-miss-liberty
Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields

I’d rather be Parallel Universing

Anna!  Look!  We’re in the Parallel Universe!

It’s almost exactly like our universe, Bob.  Our names are even the same!

Ugh!  Anna, the ocean’s saltwater!  Don’t cry Anna.  It’s not that bad.

I miss our Lime Jello ocean.

At least  they have the same statue!  Doesn’t that make you feel better?

No.

Why?

She’s not holding a stick of Arid Extra Dry deodorant like ours is.

Oh Anna, cheer up!  Look!  Some of the words on the plaque are the same as ours!

Which ones?

. . . your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free . . .

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: On Day Down at the Cannery

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  Well it’s Wednesday again.  Unless I somehow went into a parallel universe just as I was making my bed this morning.  In which case, I’d like to give a shout out to the “you” in the parallel universe and wish  “you” a lovely HorsD’oeuvresday.

But whatever universe you’re in, it’s still time for Friday Fictioneers — which means it’s time to write a 100-word story about the picture below — furnished by our lovely Friday Fictioneer hostess Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at her blog,  Addicted to Purple.

iaam
Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

One Day Down at the Cannery

The day Irene got a microscope was the day Irene began to loath large and began, instead, to fall hopelessly in love with little.

Nothing escaped Irene’s microscope slide –wood shavings (she loved to whittle), vitamins (she was fit as a fiddle) and even Jello (she was hooked on its wiggle).

Irene often pretended her Cheerios were donuts, and that she was eating them with The Incredible Shrinking Man.

Then one day down at her job at the cannery, she saw him!  Mr. Jolligreen Gyant!  And just like that, Irene began to loath little and began, instead, to fall hopelessly in love with large.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Trust Me, Meredith!

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome, Dear Readers!  Today in this blog’s little neck of the woods, we shall  see if we can make up a story that’s not too big and not too little but just right!

It’s time for the 100-word, Friday Fictioneer’s weekly writing challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple and the three bears.

This week’s picture porridge was provided to us  by Roger Bultot.  

copyright-roger-bultot
copyright-roger-bultot

Trust Me, Meredith

Howard, don’t you think we should hire professionals to put in the pool?

Why?

You’ve never operated a bulldozer before.

I worked for Uncle Vinnie, and he owned a bulldozer!

But Howard, you were just mowing his lawn.

It’s the garage isn’t it, Meredith?  The one time I park the car in the garage without opening the door first, and you never let me forget it.

And the sprinklers.

What?  You’re bringing that up again?  I only drove next door!

But through the front yard.

You need to trust me more, Meredith.

Okay, Okay.  Go fire up the bulldozer, Howard.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Fly Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, Peculiar Poetry, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  My philosophy of life can be summed up by Lou Grant from the old Mary Tyler Moore show when he said, “You’re born, you die and everything in between is filler.” 

And I can’t think of a more fun “filler” than writing a hundred words inspired by  Friday Fictioneers  picture prompt hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at Addicted to Purple.

This week’s picture is provided by Douglas M. McIlroy over at Ironwoodwind.

maui-from-mauna-kea

Fly like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee  

 If I had an apparatus

To keep me in the misty stratus

If I could hang out in the air

With the billowy things that live up there

 I think, at first, it would be fun

I’d be best friends with everyone

I’d say I like you!  Yes I do!

You are my best friends, brave and true

But then before my very eyes

You’d change into some apple pies

You’d switch it up

 (You’d be so wiley)

You’re Cher! . . .  No wait! . . . Charles Nelson Riley?

 Who could keep up? Who could cope?

I’d become Muhammad’s rope a dope

* * * 

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Funny How Things Work Out

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , ,

Hello Dear Reader! It’s Wednesday, which means my brain, Peanuts, thinks it’s Friday. (Shh . . don’t say anything, I’ve found it’s always best to humor Peanuts.)

Anyway, it’s time for Peanuts to write a 100-word story for Friday Fictioneers — a writing challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at Addicted to Purple.

There’s a rumor afoot that Rochelle is busy sewing everybody official Friday Fictioneer Uniforms,  and that we will all be receiving them just as soon as she masters  French cuffs.  Could this be true, Rochelle?  I certainly hope so!

Here’s this week’s Friday Fictioneer Picture Prompt:

Linda Vernon Humor Joseph William Standish, the Tree, Friday Fictioneers
Courtesy of anaelephantcant

Funny How Things Work Out

William Joseph Standish hated being a tree because in his heart, he was a writer.  After all, wasn’t he made out of wood –which turns into paper?  Didn’t he have time to think?  Wouldn’t a byline with his name be fabulous?  But alas he had no pen.

One day someone leaned a bike against his trunk.  Screw writing! He would become a world-renowned Tour d France bicyclist!  It would be stupendous, it would be marvelous, it would be . . . well, he couldn’t think of anything else it would be.

Just as well he decided not to be a writer.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Jennifer Spectacular

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  

The week has rolled around again to Wednesday, (the week likes to roll around — kind of like a roll-a-way bed in an earthquake — only without the mattress) which means it’s time for The Friday Fictioneer Challenge!  Yay!

Challengers are asked to write a 100-words story about the weekly picture that is on display over at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple.   Rochelle is our hostess with the mostess and the Friday Fictioneering-est!

This week’s picture was provided courtesy of Randy Mazie at the Writer’s Village, who subscribes, like I do, to the theory that no story is complete unless there’s a goat involved in there somewhere.  Thank you Randy!

goats_and_graves_3_randy_mazie
Copyright Randy Mazie

 Jennifer Spectacular

“Baaaaa!” Cried Jennifer Spectacular.

Arthur marked his place in Three Billy Goats Gruff and looked up momentarily. “Didn’t that banana agree with you, Jennifer?”

“Baaaa!”

“Well, I warned you about gulping down a banana after eating a purse, a chain-link fence and a can of Sprite, now didn’t I?

“Baaaaa!”

“No I don’t have any Tums.”

“Baaaaa!”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Baaaaa”

Why you ungrateful little goat!

“Baaaa.”

“What do you mean what am I doing?  I’m calling animal control to come get you!”

“Baaaa!”

What?

“Baaaa!”

“Do you really mean that, Jennifer Spectacular?”

“Baaaa.”

“Okay, I’m sorry too.”

***

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Planet Blub

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers!  You are cordially invited to take a break from you’re summertime water fun to check out this week’s Friday Fictioneer Challenge. (But try not to get water all over the blog, will ya?)

Now for the challenge which is to write a 100-word story with a beginning, middle and end inspired by this week’s picture courtesy of and copyrighted by David Stewart.  Now, who does all the organizing for this weekly-writing shindig? None other than Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at Addicted to Purple, that’s who. So head on over and check it out!

rescuers

Planet Blub

We traveled 12 years in suspended animation for this? I’m sorry, Roger, Planet Blub sucks.

It’s not exactly like the brochure, Josephine, I admit . . . it might grow on us . .

You mean like breakfast did?  That alien scrambled egg nearly killed you, Roger!  Thank god I had Mace! It would have devoured your face!

Shhh . . . here come the Blubians now.

Probably wanting to know if we’re enjoying their stupid Ferris Wheel.

We bear repast, Earthlings.  Scrambled eggs.

Thanks.

Did you remember the Mace, Josephine?

No.

If we hurry, we can still catch the Earth Shuttle.

I love you, Roger.

Friday Fictioneers: Mr. Sims and the Maple Bar of Death

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , , ,

Aaaaand it’s fake Friday again!  One tiny problem I have with the calendar is that it’s so repetitive and predictable.  That’s why I like  Friday Fictioneers — a 100-word, picture-prompt writing challenge over at Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, Addicted to Purple — because it starts on Wednesdays.  And I think you’d agree that nothing spices up the week like having Friday on Wednesday!  Anyway, here’s this week’s picture prompt by way of Scott Vanatter: (copyright – Indira)

Friday Fictioneers 100 word story

Mr. Sims and the Maple Bar of Death

“No, Mr. Sims, you misunderstood my instructions.”

“But you asked me if I wanted to do a donut, so I spun out.”

“No, I asked if you wanted the rest of my donut.”

“So I flunked my driver’s test?”

“That will depend on your three-point turn.”

“I can do that with my eyes closed!”

“Careful Mr. Sims! That’s a sheer drop off . . . LOOK OUT!”

“What happened?”

“You’ve plunged us off the cliff, Mr. Sims.”

“So I flunked my driver’s test?”

“Yes.”

“Okay . . . but one last question.”

“Yes?”

“You gonna eat the rest of that maple bar?”

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers: Mr. Flibbish’s Resume

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , ,

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields at Addicted to Purple is the host of a writing challenge called Friday Fictioneers and, as such, posts a picture every Wednesday to serve as an inspiration to writers everywhere, whether they be from planet earth or from one of the other fifty billion planets that are now thought to exist in the Milky Way alone.

  Here’s this week’s story-inspiring picture:

copyright-managua-gunn

Mr. Flibbish’s Resume

Hello Mr. Flibbish.  Your resume says you worked as a plasma donor?

Yes, I was responsible for sitting until they told me to get up and go home.

Excellent!  And what did stock photographer’s model entail?

Standing where they told me to stand.

Uh huh. I see.  And you were the “feels like guy” for Weather.com?

Yes.  I stood outside and reported back what I thought the temperature felt like.

Oh very good!  Now, we just have one last question.  How do you feel about pointy objects?

I love them!

Congratulations, Mr. Flibbish!  You’re hired!  Welcome aboard the  Rent-a-Centurion team!

100-Word Friday Fictioneers’ Challenge: Midlife Crisis

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , ,

Hello Dear Readers.  What do you want to do today?  Maybe you feel like writing a 100-word story explaining this:

"look I even put in this arrow
No not this arrow. The picture below it!
Friday Fictioneers Linda Vernon Humor
Copyright -John Nixon

 

Midlife Crisis

He was in the process of changing careers?

Yes, Officer, he couldn’t take the clowns anymore, or the cutbacks.

Cutbacks?

They stopped providing seltzer and Bozo uniforms.

Really?

I mean, have you seen the cost of clown shoes lately?  We’re still paying off his clown-school student loans for godsakes!

So he enrolled in–

Human cannon ball college, yes, that’s right, Officer.  It was his final examination.

What a pity!  But I didn’t realize there was a human cannon ball college in town.

There isn’t.  This was an online human cannon ball college.

Probably not a good idea.

In hindsight, no.

Word count:  Exactly. 100. Words. Yay!

This is the Friday Fictioneer Challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple.  To participate, all you have to do is look at the picture.  (You don’t have to look at the picture, but it’s easier when you do) and then write a story with a beginning, a middle and an end in 100 words or there abouts.  And link up over at Addicted to Purple.

* * *

Until next time . . . I love you

100 Words for Friday Fictioneers

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Readers and Writers!  Come in!  Grab a handful of letters  from Linda’s Big Bowl 0′ Letters and a big glass of Tang and let’s have fun Blogger Style by making a 100-word story out of them for Friday Fictioneers.  

Then we’ll  link it up at Friday Fiction Headquarters, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields- Adicted to Purple.  

Oh and don’t worry about spilling any Tang on Rochelle’s carpet,  I’m bringing my cyberdog, Constantinople; he’ll lick up anything. (And Rochelle will never even know! Ha!) 

Here’s this week’s Friday Fictioneers’ story prompt picture!

Copyright – EL Appleby
Copyright – EL Appleby

Trouble with An Aging Parent

“Dad!  Look at this mess! The DNA beakers got all jumbled up in that last storm!”

“Keep your robe on, Shem.  I’ll sort them out later.”

“But, Dad, you shouldn’t have just set the beakers so haphazardly on the shelf like that!  They’re breakable for heaven’s sakes!”

“What do I know from beakers?  Besides my arthritis was killing me, oy!”

“Dad, what did Japheth and I keep telling you over and over, huh?  That you were too old to build that ark by yourself, didn’t we?”

 “Nonsense Shem!  I’m 600 years young!”

“And now your arthritis is acting up again, Dad.  Happy?”

***

Until next time . . . I love you

Wednesday is the New Friday!

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , ,

Hello Dear Readers.  Well, if this is Wednesday, it must be Friday. Because at this blog, Wednesdays are the new Fridays! 

That’s because Rochelle Wisoff-Fields over at Addicted to Purple is the gracious hostess of Friday Fictioneers even though she doesn’t serve refreshments (that I know of) — where writers are inspired to write  a 100-word story based on the weekly posted picture.  Here’s this week’s picture:

Linda Vernon Humor enters Friday Ficitoneers
window-dressing-janet-webb.jpg

Louise Goes on a Date

But Louise, how could you borrow a Pietro Pairajelli dress from your place of work to wear to the movies with Howard?

“Well, I didn’t know we’d get robbed waiting in line, and they’d steal the Pietro Pairajelli and Howard’s toupee — the only two things we had of value.  I had to watch the movie in my slip, Betty, and poor Howard caught pneumonia and died.”

“From the draft on his head?”

“Uh huh.  And now I’ll be fired.”

“Wait! Isn’t that the Pietro Pairajelli over there on the fire escape, Louise?”

“Yes!”

You’re the luckiest person on earth, Louise!

“I know, huh.”

* * *

And there you have it Dear Readers.  This week’s story came in at 104 words no matter how much I tried to cram it into 100 — some stories just refuse to cooperate!

Until next time . . . I love you

Friday Fictioneers 100-Word Story: Calling Charlie

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , ,

Hello Dear Readers!   It’s Wedfrinesday again.  Where writers are challenged to stretch their synapses in the Making-Stuff-Up Hemisphere of the brain every Friday by writing a 100-word story from a picture prompt posted on Wednesday by Rochell Wisoff-Fields!

I know it sounds confusing the way I’m explaining it. But that’s because while I was stretching my synapses, I got a cramp . . . 

Just go here if you want to join in:  Rochelle Wisoff-Fields Addicted to Purple Blog  it’s fun!  (Be sure to hit the refresh button for the latest picture prompt.)

Friday Ficitoneers

Calling Charlie

When Sally saw the condition of the phone, her heart — which was located almost in the middle of her chest — (but too far to the left for her boyfriend, Charlie’s liking) — sank.

Sally’s eyes welled up with tears nearly simultaneously-; the right welling faster than the left (something Charlie abhorred).   Sally grabbed the receiver with her right-hand while wiping tears away with her left and dialed Charlie’s number with her nose — located basically in the middle (but off centered enough to be unattractive Charlie thought) of Sally’s face.

When Charley didn’t answer, it was just as well.

* * * Word Count:  97

Happy Wed-fri-nesday!

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers , , , , , , , ,

Hello Dear Readers and welcome to Wed-Fri-nesday.  I decided to make up a new day of the week because 1) it’s high time somebody did 2) the Friday Fictioneer 100-word writing challenge starts on Wednesday.

Every Wedfrinesday, Rochell Wisoff-Fields, provides a weekly picture prompt, and writers are challenged to write a 100-word story. Go here if you want to join in:  Rochelle Wisoff-Fields Addicted to Purple Blog and you should!  Why?  Well, what better way to celebrate the very first Wedfrinesday?

Aqueduct -Sarah Ann Hall
Copyright Sarah Hall

The Doing, the Undoing and the Redoing of Sean

Sean squished a spider crawling on his prized lawn trophy with his half-emptied whiskey bottle; congratulating himself in one instant, and disgusting himself in the next – with just how low he had sunk, accomplishment-wise.

When he was riding high with two consecutive wins at the Lawnmower Blade Sharpening British Open, the money and the fame had gone to Sean’s head.

His wife left, his kids left, his dog left, and even his goldfish . . . wait . . . no!  He still had his goldfish!

Sean straightened his tie, picked up his goldfish bowl and headed into the future.

P.S. This story came in at exactly 100 words not counting the title and the 1,000 words the picture tells.

Until next time . . . I love you

Brenda’s New Job Sucks

Linda Vernon Friday Fictioneers, The Daily Routine , , , , , , , ,

Welcome Dear Readers! It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. And the good thing is you don’t even have to have any ears to participate!

All you have to do is go to Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsAddicted to Purple and take a look at the picture (which is posted every Wednesday) and write a 100-word story about it. Link up and Viola!  Lookee you!  You’re a Friday Fictioneer!! 

Here’s this week’s picture:

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to purple
icon-grill-ted-strutz

Brenda’s New Job Sucks

And they expected her to do this for eternity?  Seriously?  Brenda hadn’t even been a ghost for a full hour, and she was bored stiff.

Brenda swept her arm across the bar again. Everything went crashing to the floor again.  Hardly anyone one noticed, again, because the jukebox was screaming Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog again.

“It’s a ghost!” Someone shouted. “I got her picture!”

Everyone rushed over including Brenda.  Yeah, that was her alright. Everyone thought she looked spooky, but Brenda thought she looked fat.

Well, Brenda’s supervisor was coming tomorrow.   Maybe he’d reassign her somewhere better.  Like hell.

And there you have it, Dear Readers, this week’s Friday Fictioneer’s Challenge.  

Until next time . . . I love you