Dear Readers! Where is the time going? I get up, I have my coffee and viola! Noon!
Today I’m only posting this little limerick from the archives! Please enjoy it! (I’ll feel guilty if you don’t!)
There once was a girl named Doreen
Who was as tall as a mutant string bean
Even when kneeling
Her head hit the ceiling
And now both her ears have gangrene
Until next time . . . I love you
The Pensive Potato, he knows not what
He’s so worried about, what’s the scuttlebutt?
Does he think about war?
Does he think about ruin?
Does he think about becoming a Boston Bruin?
The Pensive Potato, he doesn’t know how
He is able to worry or furrow his brow
Does he think about sin?
Does he think about death?
When pulled out of the ground does he take a deep breath?
The Pensive Potato, when he looks around
He sees skillet and burner in butter he’s drowned
Does he know he exists?
Well, he probably doesn’t
In fact, he’s quite sure that he probably wasn’t
* * *
Until next time . . . I love you
Hello Dear Readers and welcome to another weekend! The Trifecta Challenge for this weekend is to write 33 words of our own choosing:
Science fiction?
Richard Nixon?
Badgers or gangrene?
Hasselhoff?
Mazel tov?
Or something in-between?
Indecision stinks I think
It’s making me profane!
To choose just one
I’ve come undone
(I’ll probably die in vain)
Until next time . . . I love you
Oh dear Al Gore, we love you so
For making up stuff, as you go
You’re so much fun, you’re such a gas
And of late, a colossal mass!
You are The Man of all things global
The recipient of prizes, Nobel
There’s really nothing we can do
To fill your carbon footprint shoe!
Though the environment’s in such a state
There’s still not too much on your plate!
There’s greenhouse gas, there’s ecosystems
(Well it’s far too numerous to list ’em)
Oh dear Al Gore, you always please
When a tear for polar bears you squeeze
And when you apply your concentration
You can actually pronounce “deforestation”!
Oh dear Al Gore, what would you do
If we weren’t burning fossil fuel
And melting glaciers left and right
To aid you in your noble fight!
When all is said and done, Dear Al
And you shuffle off to be God’s pal
Those pearly gates you’ll enter yet
For giving us the Internet
Until next time . . . I love you
Hello Dear Readers! It’s time for the Trifecta Writing challenge which is as follows:
This weekend we are bringing you back to class with a little refresher course on compound modifiers. We are talking about two words that combine together to describe something. Such as a well-rounded individual or a one-way street or a lightly-oiled pan. Here’s a fun Trifextra trick: conventionally, if the compound modifier comes BEFORE the word it modifies, it requires a hyphen and counts as one word. If it comes AFTER the noun, it doesn’t need a hyphen and counts as two. For example:
The well-read woman had an extensive vocabulary. (7 words)
The woman was well read and had an extensive vocabulary. (10 words)
. . . . Because it’s only 33 words, we’ll count using our eyeballs instead of our machines, counting each hyphenated modifier as one word. We encourage you to do so as well.
Eyeball-counting editors
They certainly excel
At counting words upon the page
And other things as well
A hyphenated modifier
Never counts as two
As long as dashy-little lines
Are stuck between the two.
Until next time . . . I love you
Sally Milkerson Becomes a Good Read
Little Sally Milkerson wanted a tattoo
She asked her mother Wanda
If it was something she could do
Wanda would have answered her
But you see she couldn’t hear
What with all the piercings that were pinning shut her ear
So Little Sally Milkerson went and got a pencil
To write her mom a note that said
May I please have a stencil?
Wanda would have answered her
But her eyelids wouldn’t open
Thanks to all her piercings, in the dark she was agropin’
Little Sally Milkerson told her mother not to worry
She’d take the task upon herself
And get tattooed in a hurry
She skipped down to the tattoo parlor
A wad of cash in hand
And gave it to the Tattoo-er — behind the counter, Stan
When Little Sally Milkerson came waltzing through the door
Her mother Wanda’s color drained
She toppled to the floor
A miracle! — It had occurred from somewhere up above her!
For her darling little daughter now
Had Harry Potter on her cover
Until Next time . . . I love you
Hello Dear Readers! It’s time for this weekends 33-word Trifecta Writing challenge where challengers were asked to write 33 words containing an IDIOT therein . . . so naturally I thought immediately of my buddy, Al Gore, 
but then I realized I had read the prompt wrong. Ha ha!! Oops, my bad!!
Therefore, the following 33-word entry has been amended to contain an IDIOM therein:
Pickles the snake was up in arms
Cause she had to work in a walk in
But Pickles the snake had to use her charms
In order to coax her pet croc in!
Until next time . . . I love you
P.S. This post is dedicated to the real-life Pickles, the pet snake of my Blogging Buddy, Bucky over at behindthemaskofabuse.
Hello Dear Readers! This poem goes out to all my blogging friends and their turtles!
I never leave the house it seems
Without my turtle (his name is Jeems)
He reminds me as I go about
To follow my nose (or follow my snout?)
He reminds me in this busy world
To keep it real, to stay unfurled
He says take care when you cross the street
Cause Jeems can talk (it’s really sweet!)
Jeems he likes the pace we go
When we keep it really really slow
I’d say Jeems was the wiser one
But Jeems, he don’t get nothin’ done!
Until next time . . . I love you
First of all, let me thank El Guapo at Guapola for coming up with the excellent idea for the title of this post.
He was actually just reading my last post about Pottery Barn, wrong, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that El Guapo is a genius and not just because he nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award! (Though it is further substantiation.)
BTW, I am planning to write my Versatile Blog Award acceptance post next week once the Eggnog runs dry. And I would like to officially thank my blogging buddies, Guapola, Running Naked with Scissors and The Mainland all of whom were kind enough to nominate this blog for the Versatile Blogger Award and whose blogs I enjoy so much I have to wait until AFTER I drink my coffee before I read them so as not to coffee spray all over my desk.
So without further adieu, allow me to welcome you to this blog’s unveiling of:
Off the top of my head
From the depths of my heart
I shoot from the hip when I say
That I love you and know you
Like the back of my hand
On a cold chill winter’s day
I’ve got a leg up on love
My elbows are greased
My eyes are peeled only for you
You skin is as clear
As the nose on my face
So I’m sorry it’s over, we’re through
Until next time . . . I love you
