Mr. Hoink’s Farm

Linda Vernon humor illustration of cow getting scratched by Mr. Hoink

Peculiar Poetry: An Annoying Visit From the Muse

 

MUSE REHAB

The Muse unused

marched into my dream last night

Standing there in leotard and tight

Lit up and fully boozed

The Muse pulled out a kiteLinda Vernon Humor Horrible Art

 

I snoozed enthused

The Muse released the kite to flight

And held the string so very tight

No blood therein could be diffused

Its knuckles turned to lily white

 

I perused bemused

Its fist was like a candle light

I couldn’t sleep (it was too bright)

With this, the Muse was quite amused

(I blew it up with dynamite)

 

Until next time . . . I love you

The Georgia O’Keeffe Incident

The Georgia O'Keeffe Incident

Until next time . . . I love you

 

Tary Not Dear Gwendolyn

Peculiar PoetryTary not dear Gwendolyn

O’er ice cream, cake or pie

Your stomach never proves to be

Much smaller than your eye

 

Tary not dear Gwendolyn

When heaping full your platter

A garden salad? Or french fries?

(You know you’ll choose the latter!)

 

Tary not dear Gwendolyn

With pralines in the pantry

Sweets like these although they please

 Make waists turn vigilante

 

Tary not dear Gwendolyn

On scents of roast beef gravy

Such nourishment will only serve

To make your waddle wavy

 

Until next time . . . I love you

 

The Neck of Polly Petunia Penelope Peck

Polly Petunia Penelope Peck

 

Polly Petunia Penelope Peck

Had a heck of a time with her tubular neck

 

When through the town’s center she’d venture to walk

People whipped on their glasses in order to gawk

 

Her head bobbled and wobbled and tilted unsteady

(Which is par for the course when your neck’s like spaghetti)

 

And when desert winds blew from the south (Santa Anas)

Her neck!  It would bow like Chiquita Bananas!

 

Twas in such a state that she met her man, Nate

(He’s a sucker for woman whose necks oscillate)

 

And married got they — on the fourth of  July

Polly wore shorts and a turtleneck (high)

 

And happy they lived all their lives ever after

With Nate’s head in the clouds and hers in the rafter

* * * 

Until next time . . . I love you

The Crossroads of My Duck

Welcome Dear Readers!  What do 4,966,661 WordPress bloggers have in common?

Everyday bloggers just like you and me — except that they all have different names and different faces and probably aren’t the same height — are participating in a little thing called the WordPress Daily Prompt.   Here’s today’s prompt:

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CROSSROADS.

The Crossroads of My Duck

The Crossroads of my duck Linda Vernon humor

 

I loved you, Duck, through pain and strife

Twas really hard to leave you

At the crossroads of your life

(I didn’t mean to peeve you)

You were my confidant, dear
Duck

For no one else I turned to

I seared you in that pan (for luck!)

I didn’t mean to burn you

 

The pros and cons of eating you

Were too numerous to list

l’orange?  With honey?  In a stew?

(I’m sure you get the gist)

 

Oh little duck, my feathery friend

You have no counterpart

But truth is friend (I can’t pretend)

My stomach won my heart

Until next time . . . I love you

 

Helen Magellen McNaulty McSqueeze

Helen  Magellen  McNaulty- McSqueezeart by linda vernon

Has a problem with being too long in the knees

Her back is too short and her elbows are fat

And when she stands up 

She leans over like that

Helen Magellen McNualty McSqueeze

Had to give up her love of the flying trapeze

For it’s hard to do tricks when you’re shaped like an S

Cuz your acrobats always end up in a mess

But the thing to look out for with Mrs. McSqueeze

Is not to be anywhere near should she sneeze!

She’d fall to the ground like the Tower of Pisa

Pushed by Atlas and Samson and Mother Teresa

Atlas, Samson and Mother Teresa

Until next time . . . I love you

* * *

P.S.  If your stuck somewhere with nothing to read check out my guest post for Retirement and Good Living here.